nebula

2007-06-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

pasilip-silip

chino de vera: mey pasok na kami bukas
kim naranja: "bigyan mo ako ng chicken. gusto ko yung malaki ang puwet at mahaba ang binti."
kim naranja: chino galingan mo sa pagpasok
chino de vera: HINDI SIYA TOTOO! TAYONG DALAWA LANG ANG TOTOO DITO!
chino de vera: salamat
kim naranja: "paglaki ko, gusto kong maging piloto!"
kim naranja: senior ka na
chino de vera: onga eh..
chino de vera: gusto mo mging piloto?
kim naranja: chino.. sinabi yan ni JASON. sa silip
chino de vera: si jason (imperio) nasa silip?
kim naranja: hindi. yung anak nila diana zubiri at polo ravales!
kim naranja: di ba?
chino de vera : ah.. siya
chino de vera: onga pla
kim naranja: nako chino ang mga detalyeng ganyan, di kinakalimutan!
chino de vera: ang naaalala ko lng..
chino de vera: Tess: Sasama ako kahit saan mo ako dalhin
chino de vera: Rico: Eh panu kung dalhin kita sa langit?
kim naranja: eh itong dialogue na ito ang paborito ko talaga
kim naranja: Tess: "Ano pong order nila?"
kim naranja: Rico: "Bigyan mo ako ng chicken. Gusto ko yung malaki ang puwet at mahaba ang binti."
chino de vera: hahaha!
kim naranja: pero seryoso
kim naranja: naiinis ako sa part na yan
chino de vera: haha
chino de vera: nde ka natawa? bkt prang si dana ntwa dun
kim naranja: natatawang naiinis!
kim naranja: ang funny ng mga ACTIONS nila eh
chino de vera: hahaha!

*moments of awkward silence*

kim naranja: nafigure out mo na ba
kim naranja: kung bakit SILIP?
chino de vera: nde pa eh!!
chino de vera: un tlga ung nde ko nagets..
kim naranja: DI BA
kim naranja: ang hirap mehn
chino de vera: hmmm.
chino de vera: bakit kaya..
kim naranja: hindi kaya
kim naranja: dahil
kim naranja: hindi masilip ni tess ang katotohanan through her psychosis
kim naranja: WEH
kim naranja: imbento
chino de vera: baliw lng tlga cya! hahaha
kim naranja: oo nga eh
kim naranja: hmmm
kim naranja: ano pa ba
chino de vera: selosa si tess at mahilig manilip
chino de vera: ang mga probinsyana ay selosa at mahilig sumilip
kim naranja: hmm... may punto ka...
kim naranja: at sa kanyang tuwinang pagsilip
kim naranja: ang inaakala nya
kim naranja: ang nakikita nya
kim naranja: ang katotohanan
chino de vera: tama..
kim naranja: sa wakas, nafigure out natin!
chino de vera: makakatulog na ako ng maaga!
chino de vera: kaya dapat tayong manilip para sa katotohanan!
chino de vera: un ung lesson
kim naranja: SILIPIN lamang ang KATOTOHANAN
kim naranja: wow may moral lesson pala talaga yun
kim naranja: labo natin! haha
kim naranja: OR
kim naranja: huwag maki-apid sa may asawa (weh)
chino de vera: haha pero ito tlga ang lesson..
chino de vera: bulag ang selos
kim naranja: jealousy is blind.
chino de vera: bulag lang si tess sa katotohanan
kim naranja: dahil nga
kim naranja: BALIW siya
kim naranja: psychosis
chino de vera: onga..
chino de vera: kaya dapat wag kng mgiisa sa probinsiya
kim naranja: oo chino
kim naranja: grabe nakakabaliw pala ang matinding pag-iisa
kim naranja: kahit TATLONG ARAW lang
chino de vera: onga e...

2007-06-03T19:27:00.000+08:00

happiness is cool

I just can't seem to brush this effing on-the-high-high-school-girl grin off my face. I've had this one since yesterday. Believe me when I tell you that I've been putting way too much effort to do so, but I guess it's just not much.

Oh boy. Oh booooyyyy.

Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.

:D :D :D

It's what you call a TRIPLE BEAM BALANCE. Masyado akong natutuwa, dammit.

2007-05-30T17:19:00.000+08:00

"The Emo Kid Song" a friend just sent totally wrecked my writing mode and I must say that one way or another, it sucked because I had a lot in mind, I had a lot to say and that song just completely mopped me off my then structured notions. Like, stab my heart because I love you. GO TO HELL.

I guess I suppose too much. But those suppositions somehow keep me going.

Good heavens wherever could I purchase a generous heap of GOOD VIBES? Hindi ko naman yata kasi kasalanang ikaw pala ang gusto ko. What the force.

2007-05-29T19:05:00.000+08:00

Honey Lee-d

I kind of anticipated a lot of people to write about how Miss Japan snagged the Miss Universe 2007 crown with her pleasing sunny nature and - well - zeal for dancing but I guess I kind of had less than what I had expected. Almost everybody I know who ACTUALLY spent time keeping track of what was happening (yes, even Greg) over that live satellite feed were in fact going for Miss Korea.

MISS KOREA. I'd never thought I’d like a Korean this much but hey. What the f. (FORCE)

MISS KOREAAAAHH is the bomb. If ever given the chance to become a full-grown man (God knows how) I'd gladly and BOLDLY pursue through my hopes of being able to be hers. Without hesitations. Free of charge.

That just sounded a bit too gay for me to handle. I'm off.

And oh, I just passed by this youtube URL (http://youtube.com/watch?v=gj7xfLZmGsY) while looking for the genuine video for that Daft Punk song being played over at that page and by the gods.

BY. THE. GODS.

Too gay to function. The song was pretty awesome, though.

------

rapao umali: im gonna watch na lang sa youtube about the question and answer!!
rapao umali: favorite part ko yun eh!! WORLD PEACE! such another timeless classic
kim naranja: WORLD PEACE! surprisingly walang nag-WORLD PEACE doon!
kim naranja: meron lang na... "i want to be miss universe because i am a happy person and i want to share it to the world..."
rapao umali: its the darn magic word kaya!! WORLD PEACE! its like the abrakadabra of ms.universe noh!! ang loser naman nila!

-----

dana torio: sabi pa nung reporter..
dana torio: yung mga in demand daw na courses yung, IT, business management, nursing, at EDUCATION
dana torio: tapos yung in demand daw na industries yung engineering, tapos yung mga field ng computers
dana torio: at pag hindi daw isa dun yung courses ng anak mo, para ka na din daw nagtatapon ng pera at nagsasayang ng oras...

2007-05-27T21:09:00.000+08:00

Little things such as this upset me so. I'd have to work on this.

I will NOT assume things for assuming makes an ass out of you and out of me.

BUT.

You're just a real pain in the butt, are you not?

2007-05-26T18:40:00.000+08:00

Like the other inconspicuous days before yesterday that have unknowingly passed, I didn’t leave the house today. I was at Joyce's with Angge yesterday though and man, how I missed those two. We did some things we weren’t actually able to do months ago (like just plainly eating and discussing matters whether of great importance or otherwise) for reasons such as being busy and stuff, and the feeling of being able to do those again with them was actually pretty rejuvenating.

Yesterday also was the very first time I've actually seen Joyce whip up a nice, fresh chocolate cake complete with the sweet icing and all and man, she does bake like a pro. The cake was scrumptious enough to the eyes that I had this delusional feeling that I already had my tummy full of it for a while. Silly, silly thoughts.

The bonding over coke and chips was wonderful, I must say. I don’t think I'd be experiencing this kind of fun for a while... or at least until the fact that we’re all going to be coming to school one by one gradually sinks in. Hmmm. :D

Now that I am at home with nothing to do, I am again kind of getting that weird sober feeling. This situation I am in is pretty condescending and I must say that it is definitely getting...

WHAT. A. SURPRISE.

I saw you and all the thoughts I have set to write down liquefied into some sort of a nonexistent void. I particularly am annoyed with this kind of feeling, and it sadly happens every time. Every effing time. How pathetic.

AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF DECENT WORDS TO SIMPLY MANIFEST THE FACT THAT I... dammit!

Kinakabog ako. This feels predominantly off. Pero masaya. :D

2007-05-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

perpetrator

I spend too much time cracking myself up in an attempt to write or even think about the matter well (such is you) but there's just something putting me off. Fear, perhaps. Or quite probably I am just forcing myself in denial.

Well hmmm. Okay. Fear it is. Fear of hurt, I presume. It's all the same. A fresh set of perspective's all I need and I somehow might know how to figure this out.

Who gives a damn, anyway? Yesterday was freaking awesome. And you, my friend, still get me amused. :)

Thank you, Ding and Chin. You both talking me through this loser-ness (wtf) or whatever you might want to call it was all I could have ever asked for. At least I now feel much better (yet surprisingly still wide awake at 12:24 in the morning). Yay!

2007-05-23T16:27:00.000+08:00

Campbell-ing

I found Juliana Campbell's weblog over the internet through UP's forums and was actually quite taken aback from what I just browsed over. This woman shouldn't have died just yet. Her wonderful, wonderful plans could've wrought this Philippines up better from the dump that it seemingly is. Her thoughts could have consolidated a million more into molding this country for its very own betterment. If only its people had a heart like hers who chose to brave the unknown for the sake of selfless service then by the gods, what a vivid depiction of harmony this place would be.

What I just don’t get is why people choose to lurk in the dark and still themselves oblivious to the mishaps transpiring within their proximity to the real world and, well, even to the real world itself. We cannot all be indifferent for long now, can we?

I'll be reading some more over Peyups. Kahit mukhang medyo sinasayad na yung mga prinsipyo ko sa buhay dito at talagang tadtad ito ng pulitika eh hmmmm. I must say I am somehow enjoying this.

And by the way. Screw you posers for acting all your worldly pain and depression out in your cool adobe-edited pictures which never fail to give me the creeps. I am a firm believer of expressing ones' emotions through art but expressing it this way can NEVER be right. Goes to show that all you're thirsting for's attention. Stick real guns to your heads now, will you? Buwiset.

2007-05-22T11:41:00.000+08:00

fallout

WTF IT WAS SUCH A LONG, LONG ENTRY THAT I WAS ABLE TO PRODUCE AND DUE TO SHEER CARELESSNESS I COMPLETELY ERASED IT ALL. DAMNATION!

Whoever thought of placing the backspace key within a very close proximity next to the enter key? Bleargh.

In any case, I may be able to summarize my happiness over with two bullets:

* Last Friday to Sunday's YFC youth camp still gets me feeling giddy all over. This is the very first one my YFC sisters in GX ever organized and the very first one that I ever attended to. Such are the reasons why it will continually have this special, special place in my heart, apart from the given fact that I was just given enough time to be closer to the One who saves. This must be the post-camp feeling, and I hope the fire never runs out. Thank you, Jesus. :)

* Apart from the covenant orientation we'd be having come this Saturday (my word! How fast things go) I still have quite a number of good things to look forward to. I'd be bonding with Ding and Noel in Ateneo and (most probably) UPD. FINALLY! A chance to unwind with two of the people whom I consider my ultimate favorites. Haha. And Gel's upcoming birthday this Monday's not to be missed out too. I hope there wouldn't be "hit and run" cases on this one this time. (Jamie Cullum, in your power, we commend our intentions.)

I guess that's just about it.

And oh, I'm beginning to be WAY TOO APPARENT with the things going on in my mind. And if you ever found out exactly what they are, believe me it'd frighten you much more than you'll ever expect it would.

I just flashed the monitor -- which was then at your page -- one big toothy grin. And I have no idea what just got into me.

Every time I try to say how much you do make me happy, my words fail me. Terribly.

:D

2007-05-21T14:44:00.000+08:00

dumadalas ang minsan

051107.

I woke up pretty much at an earlier hour than usual today and, for some unknown reason, right away found myself producing a copy of my college class schedule on my laptop. I knew for a fact that yes, I am now very much pumped up to go attend the university, but breezing over one's class schedule for innumerable times given a span of four days' another thing. That one hell of a menace craftily obscured in a cheap bond paper is, sadly, now starting to wear on me. And gods, classes haven’t even started yet. Fackerrr.

Then I remember seeing that and everything just seems to fall into place.

I have to admit that as for now, one of the chief grounds on why I am so ready to get these collegian stuff over and done with (WELL) is to finally get within a 7km radius to where you will be. To where I used to WANT to be. It isn't going to help me in any way but yes, it will indeed make me happier than usual. And besides, Ding's treating me to isaw for one whole f-ing year if ever I drag my butt to scholastic excellence well and make it. Haha.

Okay parang ang supot ng motivation ko :))

I am talking in codes. And I wouldn't be very much surprised if you ever get to crack it.

This still life with the truths that come along with it is appointed to only go so far. You have your own space, your own time, your own life, and so have I. I cannot go against the powers that be just to alter things up and shape them in harmony with my every single whim. It is wholly essential for me to just take things as they are, take things at a time, and simply just take in the fact that the way things now are can never have more. Not that I would want something MORE, but... You get the picture. Figure it out.

Then I remember seeing that and somehow, there was something I felt... which is definitely not much.

2007-04-23T09:50:00.000+08:00

The Comeback of Continental Cupcakes

In a few hours' time, I would be leaving with Ding to fix some stuff needed for her to enroll smoothly to Ateneo, and then to probably watch a decent movie along with good food. This may sound a bit gay, but I consider this as a DATE. Oo, date.

And as much as this statement would make me seem overly transparent, I'll state it nonetheless...

What a wonderful, wonderful lad you are.

2007-04-08T19:03:00.000+08:00

UP and down

I guess it's safe to say that I've spent quite a number of days - or maybe even weeks - trying to figure out where I'd possibly end up in two months' time. In what university, that is. I had two fine choices to take my pick from (that is, of course, in line with my Biology course) and DLSU is definitely out of my list. Studying there requires too much bread and I don't think that’s something my parents can handle. Oh well.

UST's one great place to be, to which I could honestly entrust my whole future and formation entirely. I know I'd be getting so much from there and that its expertise lies on the track of my preference, but hell, I'm making a choice between UST and UP here. Kahit na sa Los Baños pa yan. I don't give a damn, man. Picking UP over the other would be too much of a hassle for me, I admit. I'd still have to board on to some place else roughly two hours away from home just to get to the campus in time and still sane. Its environment's a bit "masukal" but not to that dangerously masukal extent. Fairly far from "civilization", fairly full of people who stare into the nothingness of space during breaks (as I have seen during my first trip), very much like that most sought after Diliman campus. I mean, it's not at all that bad. I'd be going home weekly or whenever I wish to. It's all up to me. And besides, may kasama naman akong kaibigan. We'd be sharing a unit, or maybe a room together. Haha.

The rest of it, I bet, would sooner or later become welcomed surprises. Upon my word, they actually are NOW! Right this very moment! This very instant!

*groan*

It must be rather obvious that I'd rather not delve deep into it here. I've used up so much time reflecting over it to the point that I feel like I have not the thrill anymore to spill the juice about it. Kumbaga eh, naubusan na ako ng reaksyon. Goodness.

I would be missing a lot. A lot, I say.

And right this very moment, there is someone... or rather something... that I definitely do.

It must be that I’m just protractedly keeping myself in denial of such little, little things in life I uneasily am starting to think about often.

*groans*

Now it all just depends on how I’m putting things out there.

And oh, after that dream I just had about having my hair colored, I just might actually have it colored. Not the madumi/mabaho type, mind you!

"The power of Christ compels you..."

2006-08-24T19:41:00.000+08:00

74,000,000 with the rest of the never-ending zeros

It's very annoying when certain people try to SHOVE IT IN MY FACE that I have done something off-beam and I should be, like, condemned for it. Simple yet highly powerful remarks would honestly suffice... it actually even makes me feel comfortable enough knowing that I am still worthy of way better things. Isang salita, o di tapos! Wala naman talagang may kailangan ng madaming satsat mo eh. Being better than I am in terms of aspects in which academics are of great concern doesn't give you the privilege to step on my aptitudes. You'd better be aware of who you are now for I believe I wouldn't have the heart to tolerate your imprudent actions the next time you attack me with that similar stupidity.

At alam ko ang difference ng Paint sa MS Excel, ano.

... wala lang. Just something I had to let out. :)

For almost one whole week, we have been running so many errands (even those which are definitely out of our concerns) that, even at night, I couldn't find myself not thinking too much about tomorrow before sleeping. Every day's activities are just too much and they are, little by little, starting to wear on me. From the very beginning I didn't want and actually expect THIS, but there's just no use trying to put things into reverse. Anyway, only a day more to go and we'll be off to welcome the warm and happy sunshine back with arms wide open. I love you, sabado! :))

But at the rear view of every sunshine's highly pleasing company loom the dark, heavy rains set forth to, time and time, put fortitudes to test.

I just received a freaking 74 on my accounting subject and, for what it's worth, didn't give a damn about it although I am terribly afraid. I wouldn't want my parents to think that they're sending some ungrateful, filthy boar to school, only for it to waste their cash into sloth and nothingness. I wouldn't want them to think that I suddenly have just had all the what used to be "intelligence" that I once had for some "stupid student club" (which costs me only nothing but my VIGOR, for crying out loud). I wouldn't want them to get that disappointed all over again when they last saw that frigging 70-something mark on my junior card. They're just not used to it, and I really would want them to end up being HAPPY, for once.

She gave me that, and I don't blame her. It all boils down on me. I just hope that she'll adjust it into an 80-something for I am much more commendable of such mark. :(

And one thing's for sure. I'm not ending up being like some kids whose inability to weave through the basic mastery of the English language has put their reputes off the deep end.

"I don't want to swim because I hate swim and I don't have swimsuit."

Sayang ka. :))

- - - - - - - - - -

Mejo nakalimutan ko ata yung prinsipyo ko. Patawad.

It got the best of me :(

- - - - - - - - - -

Lord God, sana po ay tantanan na ng mga kawalan ng katarungan ng mga makamundong pagnanasa ng mga tao ang pananapak sa kung ano ang nararapat. Lalo na po yung mga katangahan ng nadadala sa.... NAKOW, Lord God. Patawarin na, please.

Pampaputi nga ng kilikili jan, please. Me taong nangangailangan, eh.

2006-08-04T19:59:00.000+08:00

My hands are trembling and my eyes are on fire. This house is crumbling, left brain and left out on the wire. You make me happy and you magnify my better half. You make me certain though all I have today is your photograph. My past is perilous, but each scar I bear sings -- monuments to where I have been and melodies to where I am going.

When will I see you again?

Still-life can only go so far and I need you in front of me, saying my name and saying to me, "I want you the way you are. You, the way you are. "

You make me happy.

-421

I am still hoping for those previous attempts to finally quit verging on futility. Maaabutan din kita, hayop ka. :))

2006-07-26T16:49:00.000+08:00

Some people can obviously get pretty pathetic by flaunting their incredibly humongous assets matched up with audacious captions, tags and whatnot. Jusko naman. For one, it wouldn't make your unimposing facades any better. Move on!

For the meantime, this might soothe those irked-up wits out there.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/Lyrics.cfm?bandID=273587&songID=3379934

Begone, you malevolent charcoal-black nit in the midst of the scarabs!

:))

2006-07-15T18:33:00.000+08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

It's going to take a damn awful lot to make me change my mind, you nit.

I have bothered to decide, picked the lesser evil and now here I am, standing up for whatever it is that I have preferred.

Please - just PLEASE - quit the crap of taking the piss out of me on a regular basis.

2006-07-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

corporate casual

I'm not the type who usually complains about having a lot of things to be done. In fact, having deadlines have made it easier for me to deal with them lighter than usual. But there's something different with how things have been running on lately, and they have faintly shifted my views. Not that exceptional, but unusual enough to have me baffled and thinking about a lot.

Exactly a week ago, my mother and I have been witnesses to what we people might regard as a heinous crime. From the top view, a man did seem to be just prancing up and about in front of another one of his kind with a jagged rock and a flat timber in hand. But as the moon had reallocated its beam to unearth the lingering secrets of the night, it hit me. Nagpapatayan na pala yung dalawang lalaki sa ibaba.

Right then and there, it all ended not well enough. One was killed. There were a lot of people around when the entire incident leaked out and nobody even paid enough attention to it. They were just there, standing, screaming and gasping at the whole of it. Gods, they were SO NEAR. As shamefully as I could ever put it, they could have done something, but they apparently chose not to.

I guess it was just about time for the man killed to meet his sunshine someplace else. And if ever he's not to land into that sunshiny place... well, he'll just have to wait and see.

Junk as it may seem, but life has never been stable enough for some. Nobody has ever been so sure of the end. While other people think of themselves as born lucky, I consider myself lucky to have even been born. I was luckily given life, a life not meant to be wasted into gratifying myself to the earthly pleasures of our time. I was born to do certain tasks, to make use of the time I have well. But there's just this thing. Procrastinating has been my pedigree ever since and to it, I couldn't agree more.

But by the gods. Going through that man's death over the days has moved me so much that I couldn't wait to make the rest of my tomorrows pretty well. I have to make a move and fast. I have to think that I haven't got much time, and I might as well just make the quality of all my work tops. I don’t mind having a lot of things to be done. What matters is that I MUST do them all, let them be at their best while I still own my time, and everything will all end well.

The engines of demise are fickle. Sit down and think.

- - - - - - -

The same thing goes for my grandfather who's currently having health problems of some disturbing sort. The resolve that my family has got for this is for him to have an operation right away.

Please let him be okay. I wouldn't want him to go to that sunshiny place with the rest of his forefathers. Not just yet.

- - - - - - -

Mukhang magiging okay na itong linggong ito. Tip of the iceberg pa lang yung past weeks! Nakakahiya naman sa iba diyan, baka napapagod ko na sila sa kakaisip na ang bobo-bobo ko at hindi ako deserving sa kung ano man ang meron ako ngayon. If that's the way they perceive the light then by the gods, so be it!

I don't give a damn, hanibam. Babatuhan ko na lang kayo isang matamis at makapangakit-langgam na ngiti!

And besides. Who's the student leader, anyway? Mukha nyo! You have no choice but to comply your butts out!

- - - - - - -

Finally! REUNITED WITH THE FIRE OF MY LOINS AT LAST!

Oh-kay. That didn't sound quite right. Pero ayos!

The Quentin Comeback. Yeheeessss.

wag kang presko, pare. di kita gusto. nagmumukha ka lang tanga. :)

2006-06-24T19:15:00.000+08:00

what an ungrateful damned swine I must have been, and it's all thanks to me and my stupid oral cave.

even uncertainties can slash a pride, and might even send someone to constantly fold.

manggugupit na lalaki = barbero
ang mga barbero ay mahilig mamigay ng lollipop tuwing pagkatapos gupitan ang isang bata.

marami kayang may gusto sa mga barbero?

2006-06-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

mekanikal moskito

Internet at home's all screwed up and this time, there's absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I think it's supposedly a blessing in disguise (though it enraged me so much) since I reckon that through this mishap, I will get to devote most of my time in the academic aspects of living.

But seriously, I highly doubt it. :))

And oh, there's just one thing about last Tuesday that I absolutely loved, aside from the fact that we got out of UP fresh and as quickly as we never imagined the events would all turn out to be.

THE LAKE HOUSE ROCKS.

I've been finding the lower batches impossible these days, and I don't even get why the hell should they be stomping around with their stupid ear-to-ear grins and tawang pang-skwater, acting as if they actually own the damn place. Whatever their grounds might be which propel them to act as such, FOR CHRISSAKES, GROW UP! Quit acting like you just busted out of some preschool hangover or something. It's so annoying, damn it. Kung gusto ninyong magwala at maghari-harian sa kung saan mang lugar, then by the gods, go SOMEWHERE ELSE.

I have every right to say this because we are NOW the SENIORS of the batch. At hindi pala ako third year, tanga.

Special mention to that certain Dannica Domingo and herr "Rebel High" bullcrap. I don't give a damn whether you have already payed your dues and have already begged forgiveness off my friend, the SGB president Ericka Salonga. I find you really annoying, which, by the way, sucks.

bleep... bleep... bleep.

Characterization complete.

2006-06-17T17:18:00.000+08:00

the prim and proper pressure cooker

I just took a quick shower before letting my fingers type the afternoon away.

However, I am done, feeling fresh, sweat-free and damn spanking new as ever. :D

- - - - - - -

The best thing about the previous week was that I was kept pretty occupied all throughout. I wasn't left alone to speculate whatever in the world was I supposed to do next after killing a particular work off. Medyo hectic ang lahat, but based on that week's tempo, I must say that it's not so bad after all. Almost everything seemed to all fall well into place, seemed so stirring that I couldn't even put my finger on it, and seemed so flawlessly right.

I'm not forgetting the piece about being ALMOST, though. : damn the Assyrians for teaching the world callous means of retaliation with their metal plates and all!

Everything seemed to be a-ok in my part. In. My. Fucking. Part. It surely doesn't feel right knowing that on the other side of the fence, somebody is pained with her expectations bit by bit crashing down while mine is yet to unfold not really that spotlessly well, but well enough. I know that grieving about this can never provide a fixed and perfect resolve to this matter, but still, I couldn't help but be emotional about it. The effects of this don't only inhabit in and nibble a certain part of a relationship. It has been affecting RELATIONSHIPS lately.

I want to help. We all want to. But we need your aid the most, for the love of god. Kahit saang anggulo mo kasi tingnan, ikaw at ikaw lang ang makakaayos ng problemang ito. -_-

- - - - - - -

Next week, everything in school will officially commence. Kumbaga, appetizer pa lang yung pagpasok namin simula last Monday. Even the start of our duties as disciplinary officers was just some sort of a "patikim". (HAHAHAHA! patikim my ass! Ang tanga ko talaga gumawa ng analogies) next week's the finest and assigned time to follow that certain direction we must tread throughout this year we must boldly face. Now we all know that it'll be a rough trip getting through... but would giving a damn about it make things simpler?

Oh. By this time, I am proud to say that I have finally thought of a profound objective in struggling for that something I am determined to complete for this year. Sa wakas, magkakaroon na rin ng direksyon ang lahat ng mga gagawin ko, and it is all thanks to the one and only Sir Psycho Sexy. I must intensify my efforts to twofold!!

- - - - - - -

Junior newcomer: "Hindi na ako makapaghintay na magcheerleader para matalo na natin ang SENIORS!" *snooty beam*
I tag: "Hintayin mong mahagilap kita sa Lunes, hayop ka."

- - - - - - -

There's just this thing about this school year's newcomers and a handful of freshmen students feeling so superior, cool and whatever else you might want to associate with that same kind of crap. They scamper around, laugh real hard, pig out and take certain steps as if they actually own the whole place. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Huwag naman sana matigas ang mukha. Baka lagariin ko ang mga braso ninyo ng di oras.

At kapag ako nga pala ay nabastos ng kahit sino sa Lunes, (with the exception of the SENIORS... they're old enough to know what'll be best for them :p) mapipilitan akong... magmatigas. Kahit sino naman kasing isalpak mo sa lintek na posisyong yun eh mababanas. Haha.

Cool ka lang, hanibam. Is-mayl! :)

- - - - - - -

HAHAHA. That was creepy.

At bakit ako naging sabaw bigla? Katamaran? Writer's block? Unforeseen dementia?

BLEEP.

The correct (and most anticipated) answer is GUTOM.

I am hungry, damn it. I want real food! @_@

Raidakeeda says: "I don't need girls to complete me."
Paraphrased: "I don't need BOYS to complete me."

2006-06-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

does it make you indie?
does it make you proud?
to talk the world into a paper bag
spotty stain of "i'm okay, you're not okay"
yes, men too could be on the rag

i'm over my head, i need a pick-me-up
it's easy to get high when you're standing on our backs, man
will anything ever be good enough for you?
stand on your own, hold your water if you can

the ride's over, did you enjoy yourself?
the ride's over, fairing well?
(not on my time)

it isn't fair to mention, but it awes the crowd
your fictional, plastic alibi
so take another hit, steal another line
did you ever meet a leech who was good at goodbyes?

when you were down i always picked you up
why didn't i recognize that everything was never fine?
i'm kicking myself that i shared spit with you
so fuck yourself and fuck this bleeding heart of mine

the ride's over

forget the previous angsty post. it's a damn beautiful world out there, sugarplum honeybum!

at gods, dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa mga kaibigan ko, nagglobe na ako. enough reason to make great things possible (pucha corny, tapos parang wala pang sense. haha) whooopee :)

2006-06-07T10:03:00.000+08:00

galit (yata) ako.

Activate initiation in

5...

4...

3...

2...

1.

Activation completed.
I must now proceed to why I came here for.

Look here, man. If you think that letting me into that almost all-is-well reality of yours with everything seemingly good enough in it would be an automatic insult to my so-called frail fortitude, then you are definitely in the position to know this apparently mislaid detail. With all the sincerity that I could ever spit out of my system... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT.

Don't get this whole ranting thing wrong. I am not mad at you for preferring to go for that... deep sea creature I once used to fancy and (as shamefully as it may seem) wished to snag as an - on the face of it - unattainable stag. Point being... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I chose this motherfucking friendship over that tiny heap of fascination towards that THING. Why the hell can't you?

I am not saying that you have totally bartered all the love and friendship in the world just to have him constantly by your side and to have him dig up his strong points from you whenever he gets to see some fucking flicks of sheer terror. No. The thing is, you choose to rant about him more often when, in fact, there are a lot more things and matters of GREATER importance to discuss. Nakuha mo pang unahin yang pangit na yan kesa sa mga... nevermind.

I am most extensively annoyed at this feeling-mo-masasaktan-ako-kapag-sinabi-mo-sa-aking-may-nagaganap-na-palang-kakatuwang-mga-bagay-sa-inyong-dalawa crap. Damn that son of a... Why can't you even trust me well enough? Know that I HAVE trusted YOU if you must, and that I could've been there to listen and to understand. Unti-untiin mo lang sana, hindi pa kasi totally nawawala ang lahat, if I must admit. Magiging awkward ang lahat. HAHAHA.

Sigh.

So. In a nutshell... Just do me a favor and do this friendship justice.

... and I'm sorry for having chosen a few unpleasant terms to express my irritation towards this something I wish I could restore back to full health with my spit. (haha, nabigla din ako nung nire-read ko ang lahat-lahat) it's just that this situation's getting old at tancha ko, ni hindi mo pa nga alam na alam ko na ang mga nangyayari.

Mahal pa rin naman kita eh. :D prens poreber!

Even a fish can stay out of trouble if it keeps its fucking mouth closed.

Haha. Ewan ko. Maybe, as long as you find happiness... all will turn out well. :)

And mother of mercy! He's all yours. I don't think he'll ever be good enough. FOR ME, at the very least. :D

Screw Paris Hilton for having died in that grotesque manner in house of wax. Lintek yan, kausap ko si ding kagabi from 9:00 pm to 1:00 am and that gory image kept on jamming all the good things that I could possibly lay my eyes on in multiples. Wala lang.

Hindi ko pa nakita yung Jupiter kagabi. Haha. Malay ko ba kung andun talaga yun.

-_-

Sige na. Kakain na lang ako ng mamon.

2006-06-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

"Kung gaano kabilis dumating sa buhay mo ang isang nilalang na nagbigay sa'yo ng ligaya, ganu'n din siya kabilis lilisan. At sa araw na ito, madarama mong malayung-malayo na ang loob niya..."

well... I couldn't agree more.

So much for some horoscope bullshit. :D

What more can I possibly say? It was nice knowing you, man.

2006-06-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

crapabola

*cough*

"Ang BOBO naman ng may-ari ng page na ito! May pablog-blog pang nalalaman e tangina, wala namang tagboard o di kaya comment boxes! Nakakaasar talaga! Kung kakilala ko lang kung sino may ari nito, ipapamukha ko talaga sa kanya ng walang pag-aalinlangan ang katangahan niya!"

I am not saying that this, my friends, is always the initial response uttered out by whoever happens to pass by this... whatever you might want to call it. Pero onga naman. Nakakatawang isipin na nag-attempt pa akong mag-advertise ng blog na ito sa friendster tapos wala naman palang lilitaw na tagboards or comment boxes dito :))

For now, this reasoning MIGHT ease your baffled mind.

I swore to recycle this crap the second time around for nobody else but myself. I wanted to have an effective outlet for my irrepressible emotions, and goodness gracious! I've found that so-called outlet HERE. Kaya kung gusto mong magcomment, bahala ka na lang maghanap ng paraan kung paano... baka sakaling matuwa pa ako :))

Erm... I know that explanation's not highly satisfying, but who the devil gives a damn, anyway?

So...

One more day left to waste away and walaaah! Another school year would be back again to allow too much for (and not to mention exhaust) my weak resilience to take. My superhero-themed notebooks have got to serve their purpose this year, or else...

... the entire fault would all boil down on me.

Hahahahaaa. Malabo.

Ganyan talaga kapag nasobrahan ang isang tao sa isang bagay na tinatawag nating lucky me pancit canton. :D and oh boy, that chili flavor's effect is surely starting to kick in... I'm beginning to be clammy all over. And it kicks in good just like the fact that I would soon have to endure A LOT of things in the weeks to come.

"Let's... vault... in!" (tama ba?)

Forget it.

I'll be back some other time.

2006-06-03T14:56:00.000+08:00

iskul bukol

After going through my previous blog entries, bigla na lang na-trigger yung urge ko na magsulat ulit. My writing's been crappy over the past few months (which I spent on fruitless yet highly entertaining means) and just this afternoon, I felt like I really have to do something about it. After all, what else is a PAULEEN columnist left to do with only but a few motherfucking days left before the start of classes? And please, do check out the opening date. It's a hyper blasted 06-06-06, baby :))

Well... at least the day itself seemingly shows a bit of a promise.

Ayoko sanang pumasok kasi sa araw rin na yan mismo ipapalabas yung movie na "The Omen." We had the chance to view its trailer while waiting for the initiation of the much awaited X-Men 3 movie last Monday and upon my word... I was literally kept at the edge of my seat. The sounds, the effects, the pounding of the heart of whoever might've owned it and the emotions it pressed out of the profundity of my being... Lintek. Iba talaga eh. Mukhang maganda. Haha :))

And oh, this Tuesday, I am tasked to take a hold of the section Anne de Tilly's plaque card, together with Thea. Good heavens. Ayoko sanang may kasama sa pagbabantay (to be able to prove my underlying worth, if you know what I mean) but I think Eka and the rest of the SGB officers are just taking it easy on me, being a new member and all. And it didn't take me overnight to figure out on how right they are, mind you. Wala pa akong gaanong leadership skills while Kay and Gel obviously have full potentials. Haha. And the rest younger than me, you ask? Blablabla.

Ito lang ang masasabi ko: Please. Dun ka na lang sa stage magdadada. Shoot some flamingos, twinkle toes. :))

*checks out a Y!M window only to find out that only 20 people are online, about 9 of which are logged in on the SMS service*

I have seriously been waiting for someone to log in since last Thursday, but my strenuous waiting still proves to be futile as of the moment. Holy mother of Jeebas. Kailan pa nalaos ang internet sa ibang bansa?

Knowing that I ONLY will be able to reach to him by this apparently quite futile mean turns my inner consciousness inside out. It consumes me whole from within. Waiting drags me to nowhere ahead, but waiting's got to be the only thing I am capable of doing at present. Alangan namang tawagan ko dun. Haha :))

DAMN IT. Naalala ko lang bigla. Hiningi na nga yung landline ko noon, hindi ko pa binigay. I. AM. SUCH. AN. IDIOT.

... in the MEANTIME...

Let's just sleep.

I miss my friends, along with the places I recently have been. I hope they do, too. It would definitely keep me going. :)

2006-01-19T18:35:00.000+08:00

your being mentally challenged has already snipped tolerance off my consciousness.

saturation point reactivated up to the maximum level, baby.

kung ako sayo, ibabalik ko na lang yan kasi puta, hindi naman talaga iyo yan eh.

you are truly brimming with stupidity, my friend. oh yes, you are.

2006-01-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking.

These proceedings happening recently just don't illustrate my typical hunger for conquest and cerebral comprehension anymore. Feels more like being drenched in beer and some other booze of which kind I do not wish to further speak of, if you may ask. Deteriorating zeal at its finest. I am gradually giving in. My enthusiasm's just been stubbed out by some other tempting force urging me to procrastinate and leave whatever good it is that I yearn for just around the bend.

Procrastinate. Ah, yes. How that term rings various jingles in my mojo mopped clean off the sharp understandings and wits. Without them, what else have I got? I am more of like an empty cigarette butt in the midst of dust and ashes. I am bound to be nothing.

Dammit. So much for assuming of being boundless.

While taking time off reflecting on stuff and planning to work on them, I think it's best if I don't just let it be at that. For all I care, I could've just left the thinking to someone else and let my idle brain and hands do the tough toil! It's just too bad and so sad that for the past few weeks, I haven't been taking heed. I've chosen to boogie all the qualms away and skip towards the more blithe level. Brethren, when will I ever learn?

I've finally seen you, the way you work, the way you flick your hands to exert a majestic pull on achievements. I'm not going to let those means get to me and shred my fervor into pieces of shit. This is where I've once found where I really belonged; the hit that I've been yearning to strike me back again for all this time. And now, I am making sure that it will find its way home to where it really goes once again.

It's just about time that I set my stuff up into working once more. Seriously. Kailangan nang banatan ang mga bagay-bagay ng matitinding plano na nararapat lamang na kalapat nito.

Hindi ko na hahayaan pang gumuhit sa aking lalamunan ang pait na matagal-tagal ko na ring sapilitang nilalasap.

Oh yeah.

Sheep.

2006-01-11T20:00:00.000+08:00

ito na ang totoo.

hindi ko aakalaing sa murang gulang naming ito, malalagpasan namin ang tatlong pagsubok na iyon na sa huli naman ay binigyan rin naman namin ng pagsisising nararapat lang na kalapat nito.

ayos na nga talaga sana ang araw na ito eh. nakita na namin ang lalaki ng aming mga pinakamabangis na mga panaginip nang hindi namin inaasahan. (wildest dreams) nakita KA na rin namin at napagtanto ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit hindi ka kayang mahalin ng lalaking pinapangarap mo. (kung ako sayo, umuwi ka na lang, kasi wala talagang binatbat ang mukha mo sa mukha ni ting.) nakabili na rin kami ng... at halos buong hapon rin naming pinagpaplanuhan kung paano namin papanoorin yun sa bahay nila gel.

... pero sa tuwing naiisip ko yung oras na pinili naming pumasok sa sasakyang yun para lang makita ang bahay NINYO... ang bahay NINYO na matagal-tagal na rin naming inaasam-asam na sulyapan... ang bahay NINYONG mas mahalaga pa para sa amin kaysa sa buhay ng guro namin sa pisike... lechugas. WALA RIN, EH. parang, nagtapon lang kami ng pagkakataon. nakakaasar talaga.

oo. nandun na nga kami. pero wala talaga eh. siguro nga, masyado lang kaming umasa. umasang mala-palasyo palang may maganda at malaking na backyard na may swimming pool ang bahay ninyo. umasang may malaking sala set kayo sa loob ng bahay ninyo na may malaki ring popcorn machine sa tabi ng tv set. umasang ganoon ang nararapat para sa inyo at sa inyo lamang dahil kayo ay matatalino, masayang kasama, hot at sexy. hindi nararapat sa inyo ang mga bahay na nasaksihan namin kanina. HINDI.

pero wala. siguro, yun na nga talaga. takte.

isa pa ang blue room. akala namin, makakatugtog na kami doon noon.. pero isang bandang galing sa isang paaralang may mga istudyanteng mas pipiliing maiwan na lang sa "jail booth" ng buong araw tuwing "fair" nila kaysa magbayad ng sampung piso ang kasalukuyang tumutugtog ng mga oras na iyon. kinuha nila ang puwesto sa studio na yun na inakala naming itinakda ng panginoon sa amin. nakakalungkotmang isipin, pero ganoon talaga - kinailangan na lang namin bumalik.

pero ayos lang. mas mainam nga yun eh. kasama na namin si yza sa susunod. hah. mabubuo na rin sa wakas ang pinakamamahal kong banda upang bumuo ng musikang di magtatagal ay yayanig sa buong kamunduhan.

isama ninyo naman ang naramdaman naming asar noong napanood pa namin yung... inakala namin, maganda. "TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE," sabi pa nung cover. pero lintik. wala. tancha ko, iisang anggulo lang ng mga eksena na puro ganun ang ginawa. puro na lang ganun at ganyan at ganun at iba pang mga kawalang kakuwentahan. basta, wala. walang kuwenta. panoorin ninyo rin para malait ninyo. ayan na yung titulo ng palabas sa itaas. magpakasaya kayo.

"maiba ang minsan na mahagkan ka't maiduyan ka

sakbibi ka't ulan lamang ang saksi..."

at oo nga pala, mahirap na ang buhay. wag kayong magsasayang ng pera. talagang nakaka-badtrip ang pakiramdam ng wala kang salapi. hah.

"marami ang namamata-haaaaay... sa maling akala."

2006-01-02T15:45:00.000+08:00

DAMNATION.

mapapamura na ako sa saya dito.

JANUARY 1, 2006.

I know it's effing late, but I don't - and i'm stressing this - DON'T give a damn.

This new year everyone speaks of just started out right. OURS, at the very least. Ayos talaga, man... At eto pa ang malupit. Akalain niyong nagsabay pa kayong dalawa?

....

2005-12-30T15:57:00.000+08:00

Razor Leaf

A lot of things have transpired in a span of less than two weeks, and it would very much nourish my hunger for pleasure to beam before the odds that I could just stuff them all in a single and evocative post.

But alas, with my grammar now totally decrepit and failing to be at its very best and with all the shit that have been succeeding to turn my innards inside out, producing a highly efficient entry now seems like consuming a bucket of nail polish along with six stale cinnamon rolls.

So, yeah. Shit first happened last Sunday, Christmas Day to be exact. The day when my cousins and I were supposed to be jumping up and about, lavishing our christmas cash to purchase the stuffs we've all been drooling at since last September. One would've gotten herself that new set of strings for her well taken cared of electric guitar. I would've gotten myself an orange skirt already, on the other hand. (if only I hadn't thought about it only now)

It's just too bad (and so sad, to say the least) that all that I ever got to waste that Christmas was the effing time that I had while perusing over a series of text messages my old man has on his well-off cell phone, and I am not talking about the usual "Hi there" and stuff. They were maliciously disconcerting messages from a certain lone ranger who I presume doesn't even take a bath more than twice or thrice a week. And what's worse was the fact that this has been around for quite some time now, lingering around like grubby air on a dumpsite.

To hell with you, you two-faced son of a smart ass, for no derogatory term would ever be fit to depict your uncanny idiocy. Stop acting like my brains are half mashed and get an effing life of your own. Go ahead and attempt to wreck somebody else's family or better yet, behead yourself and go dig your cranium a thousand leagues under the Pacific Ocean. This world's no place for a doofus like you.

The next "tedious" thing up is about this school year's impending promenade. Ting's got Pao, Jen's got this certain Chino, and I've heard that Price's now gonna have Jor for this February's event. I mean, come on. Give me a break. This prom's got to be one of the feasible most brilliant affairs of my high school subsistence. Call me stupid, but I'd rather spend it with someone whom I'm not really attached to for I highly presume that it'll be more agreeable that way.

Holy hell. I can't think of anyone whom I can invite to come over and beg to endure my monotony for one whole night. Kung bakit ba naman kasi ganito ang buhay...

... and Canal de la Reina has been getting the best of me these past few days, along with the impending book report on The Little Prince. And yes! Crime and Punishment. Seriously, man. It's not as easy as how it seems once I do a version of it. This is dullsville.

Well... I have to go. Sumasakit na ang mga daliri ko. Kung bakit pa kasi nahiwa kayo ng isang ligaw na kutsilyo sa kusina... (at kapag ako, naasar, IKAW ang isasama ko sa prom.)

2005-12-19T09:33:00.000+08:00

Most beloved Vinnie,

I am writing to you from Paris, but that's all I can tell you about where I am and what I am doing. No street name, no description of my work. In fact, I can tell you no facts, only feelings, but it makes me happy to write you about those.

I did not disappear because I stopped loving you. I was literally spirited away, and in many, many ways I'm glad it happened. All I regret, in truth, is leaving you, and each day that regret grows.

My darling, I love you more than a human being has a right to love - so much that it is as much pain as pleasure, so passionately that rather than give it up I would willingly give up my live. You are the air that I breathe, the food that I eat, my dreams and my fantasies. When my body aches, as it often does these days, I tell myself it aches for you. When I'm hungry, it's hunger for you. When I sleep, you are beside me.

When I sing - and that is rarely, except in my heart - you are my music.

I have no idea if this letter will reach you. Perhaps you will be in the American Army come to liberate France and - presto! - you will liberate me. But more likely we will never see each other again except in our mind's eyes. I am content with that. To have known you and loved you and made love with you and made music with you is enough for any lifetime, more full of life than any other human could experience in a hundred years.

I pray that you will live and be happy, that you will find another love - though not as profound, not as stirring, not as fulfilling as ours - and in loving her remember me.

As for me, I will remain for as long as my life shall last true only to you.

Do you remember the Schumann sonata we played together? I taught you to like Schumann, and now I will tell you the man of the most beautiful song he ever wrote - "Ich grolle nicht" - "I'm Not Angry."

Do not be angry with me, treasure of my soul, for leaving you, for I have not left you. I am with you always and will always be,

Your Mia

2005-12-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

@_@

It was quite a good thing that I got to spend some time off with my amigo while lending ears to his one-dimensional troubles of him not getting any younger by now and yet he still doesn’t even know how to put chemical equations into balanced ones. Alam mo, sana kasi, nandito na lang yung... ahem... kuhdaidabeedagunduh mo.:p

Haha. Connection?

"Magbalancing? Hay naku, tatanda ako... Kayo? Analytical Geometry? Graphing planes? Tungkol saan?"

Anyway.

"Hapi. 2 taon na. Bakit parang hindi na yata ecstatic?"

Now that I think about it, why yes. Bakit nga ba hindi na?

Shouldn't you guys go ask yourselves out first before chucking the blame off halfway across the universe?

2005-12-05T19:43:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks I've been accumulating so much pleasure, and this makes me nothing but more anxious about the things in store for indecisive people such as I am.

I have always been afraid of the future. The odds of having opportunities brandishing themselves as the best choices right before my very eyes, consistent manifestations of profound regret dancing around with every excellent selection missed, different people and approaches to deal with as I go on, every single shit of both kinds required for me to go through...

So, yeah. I could go on listing every single thing that makes me more uneasy about that menacing six-letter term which, whether I approve of it or not, will soon unfold to me, but I'd rather not tell more about it. Thinking about it wears me off like a slobbering canine more than physical education could.

Never will I be capable of just ordering the future to piss off, to stop dogging every single footstep I make, or to come by the time I'm all set for it. Inescapable, it truly is.

I could never escape the fact that my father's arriving tomorrow, and all hope of wishing to visit p*rn sites online are now all into thin air. I could never escape the fact that only in quite a few months, I'd be off to college somewhere in an institution where my wits' capabilities truly lie. I could never escape the fact that I have been welcoming upsetting changes rather than the healthier ones. I could never escape the fact that I now have to grow into something more mature. I could never escape the fact that I have been losing quite a handful of friends as months pass by. And again, it goes on and on and on.

"All we can do for the future is to plan for it." - Kristel Yap

I'm sorry I had to sponge that line off your vlag for a while. (it's not even the exact one, I think) I just find it appropriate to convey the thoughtful sentiment I'm submerged into as of now.

The moment we make wrong moves as early as now, (in some aspects of life, that is) it is our future which will soon pay the price. We control our own future by preparing well for it. Assumptions and estimations about it will never be capable of such.

Now why be afraid of the future?

It is up to us whether we'd do well on our college entrance exams, so as to land off into good universities. It is but up to us whether we choose to embrace better changes and benefit from it or not. It is but up to us whether we make that fine selection of having established personas and, again, benefit from it. It is but up to us to - if we wish to - still have that indissoluble bond we have with our friends still intact or otherwise. We are the ones in charge. We steer our own wheels.

But, if all else fails after doing every single thing necessary to claim that bright future we think we deserve, don't just thrash away all the hope like throwing corn wastes off a bin.

There is hope for a better future as long as we live.

We live because of this hope, and this hope, if you must know, will never subside.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I mentioned something about me losing quite a handful of friends as months pass by.

In my honest opinion, I think I'm better off with these guys losing their cling up on my sleeve rather than being there and yet not having that so-called refuge we should both be feeling. Look at me when I lost daily contacts with those people. I think (I’m stressing this) I've grown into a better being with a rather "raised" persona such as theirs. You who continuously mock people of being financially challenged while you yourselves are being dastardly irritating as time passes by. You who do nothing but mention about men and on how insensitive they could possibly get.

And speaking of insensitivity, I'm quite sure I'm not having someone like her right off the hook, am I not?

SHE is one of the most insensitive people I've ever stumbled upon, mocking her best friend of having ear infections or being socially unwell when, in all possibilities, her best friend's irk were all situated on her dark face. The best friend obviously needed help for being in that deep shit, and we were not able to hand it to her right away. The feeling sucks.

Oh well.

At naging insensitive din pala ako kanina. Damn me. I must go to hell. And to think that this wasn't the first time I've become one. At IKAW na naman ang napagbuhusan ko...

Now I feel like being in deep shit. The feeling sucks. WHEN will I ever learn?

I am so sorry. I love you very much.

Si ANGELA MARGEAUX TOLENTINO rin pala, nagiging DISTANT na. Pinapaalala ko lang. Baka kasi hindi na niya alam, or it doesn't matter anymore.

Ang pinakamamahal kong pamilya. Ilan pa kaya sa inyo ang makakahalubilo ko pagtungtong ng kolehiyo at makakasama kong mag-chillax sa kung saan man para makipagkwentuhan? Ayoko na kasi ng panibagong pamilya eh. Kayo at kayo lang ang gusto ko.

2005-11-27T07:44:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats the old times, eh?

Too bad we'll just have to... thrash them out.

I will absolutely still hang about, but that's not the effing case.

We're now gradually being drifted apart.

Face it, baby. We're just letting it be.

2005-11-08T10:41:00.000+08:00

Finally, after epitomizing demeanors which went to show that SPUQC's not doing any better to shape my character well, I've had enough.

I am a changed man (or woman, for this matter) at the moment, and I don't want others daring to tell me otherwise. If you're still not convinced about this change I'm speaking of or if you actually are, I don't give a damn about it. I am in no position to cleanse your baffled wits, anyway.

I find it rather ridiculous on how some people are still not won over by the slow execution of this slow yet beautiful holistic amendment, though.

Oh well. C'est la vie.

It is but up to you to settle on whether you'd wish to live up a somewhat virtuous existence or subsist in mediocrity. The Lord would be nowhere else rather than next to you to help you steer your wheel as you move on.

Screw all my past posts with excessive profanity embellished on them. Ayoko na. I'll be His faithful groupie from this day onwards.:)

*beep*

Ang galing. Lalabas ang Oxygen either on November 23 or 26. Haha. Wala lang. First time lang kasi ng sawing bandang ito na tumugtog ng magandang musika ng magkakasama... At shempre, yun ay kung sasama ang lead guitarist na si Yza... at sana ay makasama rin si KC, kasi baka hindi kami mabigyan ng discount dun sa kaligayahang binabalak naming i-purchase kung wala siya... heh...

Tsaka, bonding na rin ng Superfriends. (KC, Tino, Nar at Dana) Matagal-tagal din kaming nawalay sa isa't isa.

Buttman - Kim
Supperman - KC
The Flush - Dana
Grin Lanturn - Gel

Sasakay kami ng kalesa at gagawa ng mga magagandang bagay. Haha. Sisikapin ko sa abot ng aking makakaya na maging pinakahuling grabeng pagkakamali na ang aming gagawin. Sorry, Jesus.

Tara, blue room tayo.

Superfriends25's "Super Box" of memories

2005-10-31T18:42:00.000+08:00

MA-HA-BA, part 2.

Tomorrow's November 1 already. Happy All Saint's Day, everyone.

WHY NOT, CHOCNUT?

Gitanna, in case you still haven't noticed it yet, the term "stellar" suits you well too. You have this eerie passion for stars and besides, you could be mistaken for the girl in the "Stellar" video by Incubus. O, taena, wag ka nang kumontra.

Para sa babaeng mukhang na-rape: You are stellar.

"Am I original? (Yeah)

Am I the only one? (Yeah)

Am I sexual? (Yeah)

Am I everything you need? (Yeah)

You better rock your body now..."

THE WARMTH

Ah... such lovely title for such infuriating matter.

Right after I logged in, I chanced upon the friendster account of _______, finally unearthing the fact that she has just added quite a number of photos. And so I did what everyone else was obliged to do in that kind of condition: check them out.

WOW.

Seeing those was worse than picturing Miss Lablee in a two-piece bathing suit, throwing an extremely seductive stare. And when I say worse, I mean it. What was she thinking, taking her photos with that contemptible sunglass with suggestive poses and an irritating pair of pouting lips to go along with it? It sucks. Does she actually think that it would be a focus for a pack of gorgeous guys or - most likely - perverts to add her up, make them want to meet and greet her right away, and everything else in between? Hah. Gag her with an electrical cord, please.

... Tapos meron ding pinakita si malaking kaibigan sa akin na ganun din, with the same concern of pouting lips. But the thing is that she's already beautiful enough to have herself displayed like that in almost all of her pictures. Ang sarap sabihan ng "Hahaha, hindi na maganda yan, para ka nang baboy" or something like that. Oh well.

Nakakaasar ang mga ginagawa ninyo. Bahala kayo, baka mamanyak din kayo ng taenang Lustdakedateeda na yun. Wala pang nakakaligtas sa mga kamay nun eh...

I wish to do my post justice by posting a couple of their pictures here, but that kind of thing is totally out of my power now. Hindi pwede, in other words.

IN THIS WORLD...

While dad was polishing his new car, his 4 year-old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In his fits of anger, the dad took the child's hand and hit it many times, not realizing that he hit the child's hand with a wrench.

At the hospital, the child said, "Dad, when will my fingers grow back?"

Dad was so hurt that he went back to the car and kicked it a lot of times. Sitting back, he looked at the scratches the child made, which read:

"I love you, daddy."

These kind of stories creep me out. Ang tatanga kasi ng mga characters eh.

--- Anyhow, I was forced to watch "The Adventures of Shark boy and Lavagirl in 3-D" this afternoon. It was one cute movie, if you ask me. The whole dream concept got me going on the edge of my seat the whole time. (okay, maybe not the WHOLE time) And besides, I find Shark boy amusing, and Lavagirl very gorgeous with her enflamed pink hair always fondled by the wind. Splendid indeed.

"Everything that is or was began with a dream." - Lavagirl

--- Teenoe, we will have HER picture printed, placed on a dartboard, and hit with as many darts as we possibly could until the whole of her face was covered with punctures, dots and crevices SOON. Then we will purchase "Gata Salvaje" DVDs and watch it together while consuming choco-coated pretzels in your abode when your folks are not around. Ayos.

Gata Salvaje: Pusang Kalye.

HOT SHOTS

Dana Torio, happy. Salamat sa wala pa ring kupas na pagsasamahan nating dalawa. I love you, bespren.

... And as for YOU who's now apparently contented with your presently americanized means of living, I wish you all the best. I still haven't forgotten about you and your pussy cat beam. Sana masaya ka na diyan.:)

I know it wasn't enough. Don't rub it in.

Follow you home. Nickelback.

Well you can dig me up a grave

And try and stick me in the ground

Well you can tie me to the bed

And try and beat me half to death

But you can never keep me down

Well you can stick me in a hole

And you can pray all day for rain

You can shoot me in the leg

Just to try to make me beg

And you can leave me there for days

And I'll stay alive

Just to follow you home

And I will survive

'Cause you're my Mississippi Princess

You're my California Queen

Like the Duchess of Detroit

And every city in between

You can slap me in the face

You can scream profanity

Leave me here to die alone but

I'll still follow you home

You can make a couple calls

And tell your brothers I'm in town

Put a bounty on my head

And tell my parents that I'm dead

And hope to hell I'm never found

You can steal me the keys

To your daddy's Cadillac

You can tamper with the brakes

Call it a mistake

And pray I'm never coming back

2005-10-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

MA-HA-BA, part 1.

I mean it. And this time, it's totally nonsensical.

Consider yourselves properly warned.

F.U.

I didn't actually fancy being there, but I was left with no other preferences to choose from. I had to serve that certain kind of obligation; opting otherwise would mean that I wouldn't be indebted to enjoy paradise together with a choir of angels in there as soon as death comes to fetch me any moment anymore.

There was nothing else that I could have possibly done back then other than to blink my eyes out of sheer disbelief.

"A reading from the Holy Gospel according to..."

And then it hit me.

I was inside a Mass, for crying out loud - a consecrated gala that I've been evading from for the past few hours. And now how the hell was I to entail the true Catholic nature of paying special attention to it when I know for a fact that I feel like doing the other way around?
Ennui indeed consumed me the entire ceremony and it definitely showed. I've only known a handful of masses which I really paid a lot of attention to, and that one was positively not amongst them.

Then came the homily part. Everybody was requested to take their respective seats and to listen. But I think what they're trying to do is just to let the people suffer the heavy trouble of trying to bear with the tedious elaborations of the priest about a certain biblical matter. For me, at times, homilies resonate through my head more like a lot of hoopla other than something which are intended to be applied on a regular basis. Pumapasok sa isang tenga, tapos lumalabas agad sa kabila.

Unexpectedly, (since it was, apparently, a mass) it seemed to fly quicker than a ray of light: a ring back tune to the tone of something classical resounded in a shrilly high volume through a sleek green tote bag from behind, which created a minor stir-up.

"Oh, bakit ngayon ka lang? Oo... Oo... Nasaan? Oo, papunta na yata sila doon... Galing na akong St. Luke’s kanina, baka bumalik pa ako dun... HAHAHA!"

A seemingly rich old woman in green kept on discussing stuff with God knows who on the other line as if she was in another place with nothing around her but the sunshine, some rocks, grass, flowers of different sorts and some shit. But what made her really irksome was the fact that she unabashedly kept on chatting with different people on the phone (it was quite apparent since topics changed every now and then) almost the entire time span of the homily until before the kneeling part, not even minding to keep it low nor to go outside in case she couldn't just possibly leave things unattended.

"Oo, nabili ko na rin yun... Sinabi na nga ni *insert name here* na kukunin na niya yung paycheck... Yes, yes..."

(Uy, tangina, hindi yan yung mga eksaktong dialogues hah. Yan lang yung mga pagkakarinig ko. Hehe...)

I wanted to stuff some shit inside her garb and hit her real hard, but I just couldn't. I mean yes, I was bored and all, but I couldn't act just like that in the middle of the crowd, INSIDE A MASS. Things might get nasty and most importantly, I'd be ruining the sacred spirit of it all. In short, nakakagago at nakakabastos yun.

Her sharp cackles still echo in my head as they were one inevitable phantom.

Right then and there, there was nothing else I could have possibly done other than to swear... and swear... and swear.

Then came the Communion part. After I partook with the so-called sacred meal with Christ, I sat down, pelted God with my requests (a few of which are, honestly, selfish) chained with a pregnant pause, then turned to my left to whisper something to my mother in a fashionably low way.

"Quiet, hindi pa tapos ang Mass."

It was the old woman.

Aggravated, I went on thinking "Putangina, ikaw nga diyan kung ano-anong mga bobong pinaggagawa mo, eh sa mahinang bulong lang... Taena..."

(The thing is, nabobohan ako sa ginawa niya. Siya nga diyan, mas bastos tapos ewan. Nakakabanas talaga. If you were in my shoes, you'd feel the same. Ang kapal kasi eh. Siya nga yung mas nakakahiya, tapos mamamahiya siya. Ay... ewan ko sa kanya... Sige na, mababaw na kung mababaw... Eh putangina, totoo namang nakakairita un eh...)

I knew that old woman (whom I wanted to cripple that time since some people turned their heads to nose round or whatever when she reproached me) had something against me, and so did I. I don't know. I hate her. I really do. I wanted to flay her alive, like Kitchie Nadal. I wanted to smack her right on the face. I wanted to latch her underwear on her head and keep it that way forever. I wanted to throw at her piles of horse dung. I honestly WANTED to. But I couldn't, and we all know it.

Di bale. May araw din naman yung taong yun eh. Wala lang.

2005-10-24T18:47:00.000+08:00

Julie Tearjerky

grabe. ang weirdo na ng mga nangyayari sa akin ngayon. pakiramdam ko'y patang-pata ang aking katawan at ako'y nararapat nang mahiga instead ng paggawa ng katarantaduhang ito.. wala lang..

hindi naman sa weirdong weirdo, pero ewan ko. sa tinagal-tagal naming pagpapractice para sa intramurals namin bukas, aba, tangina, ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung bigat ng load ng pagpapractice.. kahit kasama lang ako sa pep squad, wala, pamatay pa rin yung trabaho.. pero shempre, dapat pa ring i-acknowledge yung pagod ng batch leader, kasi walang-wala yung pagod namin sa kanyang mga paghihirap..

trabaho ng pep squad ang magpakababa ng boses, maglagay ng buhay sa bawat cheer na ipapa-voice out sa kanila ng batch leader, ang maglead sa mga gagawing steps ng cheerdancers.. kung papatay-patay ang pep, wala nang mangyayari sa batch pagdating ng intrams.. at shempre, dapat, may pakialam din ang pep sa pwedeng kahinatnan ng batch kapag ang sinunod lang nila eh yung mga makasarili nilang pagnanasa.. dito pumapasok yung concern ng pep para sa kanilang buong batch...

ang JUNIORS. ang magagaling na pep ng JUNIORS. ginagawa ba natin ang trabaho natin ng maayos?

wala lang, kasi naiinis ako.. sa inaraw-araw na ginawa ng diyos eh putangina, mukhang iilan lang talaga sa pep squad ng juniors ang kumikilos ng angkop sa mga pangyayari.. i mean, yung mga pursigido talagang magpractice, yung mga may mga bagay na tinatawag nating dedication and persistence.. kasi kahit sino namang nasa lugar ng mga taong nagpupumilit na gandahan at babaan yung pagdedeliver nila ng cheers and the hand movements that go along with it tapos makikita na yung mga taong nasa paligid niya eh wala naman talagang pakialam sa mga nangyayari eh mababanas din ng sobra kagaya nito..

tapos may mga tao pang reklamo ng reklamo.. akala mo, mga perpektong tao sila na hindi nagkakamali at kung ano-ano pang mga hirit na pwede nilang ibanat ng matindi.. bwisit, nakakapurga na kayo.. ang malas ko naman, natabi pa ako malapit sa inyo.. diyos ko..

kanina lang talaga ako napuno.. kasi sumobra na eh.. nakakapurga na talaga.. isa pa yang TOOTSIE na yan... (malakas ang kutob ko na forever kang nasa hot list ko..) tangina, pinaayos-ayos pa yung batch shirt ko na may maling pangalan.. eh pepwede namang makipagpalit na lang ako kay siyel nun ng shirt.. tae, ang bobo talaga..

"Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here..."

*sigh* wala lang...

looking on the bright side, may mga bagay pa rin naman akong pwedeng gawin para maremedyuhan ito kahit papaano.. kagaya na lang ng pagpu- "putangina, ano bang gusto ninyong mangyari sa buhay ninyo, mga hayop kayo!" sa mga pep members na mukhang walang pakialam sa batch at iba pa.. haha.. pero wala lang, in fairness, literal na nahigh blood talaga ako sa mga taong yun kanina.. as in nahihirapan na akong huminga and all.. O, ilaw sa gabing madilim...

teka, pagod na ako.. wala na namang kwenta itong sinulat ko.. hindi na kasi siguro ako marunong mag-english.. oh god, this is not good.

but God is good! he will never forsake me.. that, i know.

good luck na lang sa akin. wag niyo na lang pansinin yung mga sinabi ko kung ayaw niyo.

2005-10-22T16:40:00.000+08:00

away from the sun

"Awareness always the first step towards change."

To all those who are concerned: (I believe you know who you all are) I will not change because you asked me to. I will change because I know I can. I want to show you that I CAN because I really know I can. Get it? Give that thought the permission to delve deep into your mojos. I CAN.

Haha.

----------------------

-- Today's the 22nd of the month! Rejoice and be glad, for the number 22 is the apple of my biological windows.

-- Gitanna, the person who doesn't believe that I do watch the Sesame Street segment "Elmo's World," dropped me a line a little while ago only to consume the hefty coins which inhibited her pocket. Hah. What a very noisy girl she was. She picked the wrong time to make a butt of jokes out of me. Why? Don't ask.

-- Jadamilda is now becoming less of the insolent fool that she was, and I think that it is something to be happy about. Not only will the promulgation of stupidity brought about by stupid people will cease, but the population of the people of the same sort will also be cut short as well. Perhaps it is because she has now fully come to realize that she had already gone way beyond the red line and have rubbed people's heads of her idiocy for too long. Just to top it all of, a big kudos for you, dearest!

-- I sincerely am considering for Dana Torio to be next week's "English Angel." She speak English very nice, like mug with good design. Very good English speaker, gooder than Angela. She are the bestest English Angel!

-- I will not try to hunt down the person that I was back again. My agenda for this year is to replenish myself with all the pleasant qualities my friends want from me to grant their wishes. (and needs) I will not try to be somebody else.

-- Crouching Tiger Hidden Ham, here we come. We will bite your head off and consume your insides, for we are far more omnipotent than you think you are. HAHAH!

-- Para dun sa mga ungas na hindi bumubuka ng bibig tuwing may batch practices, putangina ninyo. Now our section would always have to take all the blame. Kung pagbabarilin ko kaya kayo isa-isa? Ang tigas niyo naman... Para talaga kayong mga gago... Gustuhin ko mang magsabi ng mga pangalan dito eh hindi naman pwede... I can't risk my credibility this way. Basta, taena ninyo, sana mamatay na kayo.

Sigh...

Goddammit. I forgot the point which I am about to stress in this entry. My brain is not functioning once again, and my English has become too faulty. Oh god.

Isa itong walang kwentang entry. Sorry, wala kasi akong magawa.

Away from the Sun. Three Doors Down.
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed the life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't do what I've done

And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

-- Hehe. That is my favorite song as of now. Hanggang sa muli!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Who rocks the house?

Lalalala, lalalala, Elmo's World.

2005-10-19T18:36:00.000+08:00

WHAT GLORIOUS DAY.

:)

God must really love me.

2005-10-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

Naiinis talaga ako...

Kung galit kayo sa akin, sabihin ninyo. Katangahan kasi yung pagpapaligoy-ligoy. Pinapahirapan niyo lang ang sarili niyo sa pagkukunwaring masaya kayo pag kasama at kaharap ako, pero ang totoo ay kapag nakatalikod na ako, kung ano-anong mga katarantaduhan ang pinag-uusapan ninyo tungkol sa akin.

Backstabbing is one of the most pathetically rash things a person could do to his mate.

Inaamin ko, ganun din ako, kaya ang tigas naman ng mukha ko para magreklamo. Pero ibang kaso ito eh. Kaibigan ko kayo. Hindi kayo kung sino-sino lang. Ang mahirap lang kasi dito, you ARE NOT helping me grow in any way whatsoever sa ginagawa ninyong iyan.

Ilang patunay: JAMILLE, nababanas ako sayo. I have my reasons - wala akong paki kahit gaano pa kababaw as long as I have some. Pati na rin kay BEA. Taena mo kasi, ang epal mo talaga. Amoy banyo hininga mo.

Ah, basta. Yun na yun. Ang point ko lang, nakakasakit na kayo ng tao. Ano ba ito? Gumaganti kayo?

Sobrang sarap kasi gumanti eh... as in literal na masarap... alam ko yan, madalas kong ginagawa yan eh... However, we guys should also know WHEN to stop. I believe we all are... beings gifted with sharp intellects.

Hindi na nakakatuwa, putang ina. Yung mga taong inaasahan kong... basta. Ayoko nang mag-elaborate. Magmumukha lang matigas ang mukha ko. Pero kasi, napapadalas na yang mga katarantaduhang iyan. Hindi na maganda.

Alam kong sobrang marami nang mali sa ugali ko. I am, if truth be told, trying to alter them all to their best. It takes time, kaya don't expect the change to be that sudden. Sana pati kayo, magbago na rin, kasi kung ako lang ang magbabago, diyos ko, wala na... Kawawa naman tayong lahat...

At ilang beses ko na bang sinabi yan?

I am so sorry if ever you people feel obliged to bear with me.

Paga Manikan drew this on my concert ticket last night using my favorite orange pencil. Gwapo.

2005-10-12T18:27:00.000+08:00

"Mang Jose, parang si Daimos din..."

Genesis X 12

I would just like to give this people the "kudos" they're indeed worthy of for keeping my sanity in one piece each time I find life too unbelievable to bear with.

I will never leave these guys ever. Then again, if they do, rest assured they will be damned forever.

I lab you, men. Rak on!

(GX12 is: angge, chin, joyce, jocelyn, zcheyenne, rita, price, jam, czaren, dana and ejoboy. shine on, my people!)

Now on to the exasperating parts.

Some pathetically dim idiots are trying to commune in the way we usually talk amongst ourselves - the lingo that we use to speak of things we do not wish for them to comprehend with their unfilled brains.

What a brilliant way to grab our attention.

Kilala nyo kung sino kayo, putang ina nyo. Sakaling mabasa nyo man ito, sana mamatay na kayo at mapunta kayo sa impiyerno. Kayo ay mga malalaking taena.

Ang bobo ng ginagawa nyo, mehn... Ang bobo talaga...

Wala lang.

Bes, (taena, hindi ito yung inaakala niyong bes. This is MY bes.) I am so sorry for being stupid. I did that on purpose. I should have known better, though. I still "lurv" thee very, very, very, very much, bes.

At least I now know... a few significant things.

Hahaha, taena, ang labo nun.

Oh well.

How Good It Can Be. The 88.
With the cops on your lips it's a holy routine
If you'd stop all your trips you could see what I mean
I forgot not to slip 'bout you're under 18
You had it in your hands
Leave it up to me
It's a known disease

Keep it in your fleece
Don't worry about the custom police, don't
I'll tell you just how good it can be, this lazy summer
But you got no relief from the pain in your head
And it's hollow and greased and it says that you're dead
But you make fun and tease and the things that you said
They always stab your back
And I've been holding out for love ever since I had a heart

2005-10-09T19:30:00.000+08:00

Run, Barbie. Run.

Hindi ko na nga ata matatakasan itong putang inang kapalaran na ito.

Congratulate me for I will flunk a lot of subjects this quarter.

Great. Just great. What a great conspiracy that was. (or, as the GREAT DIRECTOR who have always wanted having the center stage all for herself would put it, KONS-PIE-RA-SEE)

I took part in a hooha over the second quarterly examinations for sheer nothingness.

Those damned teachers indisputably had me hoodwinked with their principled statements. They made me suppose that I can easily slice through their tests easily and did not make me heed to my conscience's insinuations that I should study well.

HAHAHA. Slice through easily my ass. Those effing tests did drain my mojo away from my faulty brain after all. I think I've already lost my common sense now. Taena talaga yang mga yan, nabobo ako dahil sa kanila. Taena niyo lang talaga.

"Mukha naman kasing madali eh... Hindi na kailangang pag-aralan yan..."

I can't, for certain, blame it all on those idiots for I know that things will eventually all fall down on me. It was my decision whether to keep hold of my focus or otherwise on the things I had to deal with, after all. It was in Kim Naranja, the aspiring Oxygen's drummer's choice whether to make a great clump of shit over her second quarter marks or not. It was in her hands.

But she didn't make the most out of that effing chance, for crying out loud. I did not. I chose not to.

There is absolutely no use letting "what could have beens" reverberate all over again through my head. I must now face the lumber which this deplorable, pre-ordained fate will dish me up a silver platter later on. I have to face the consequences of my rash actions kasi, putang ina, wala ring mangyayari sa akin kung hindi. Lalaki akong tanga kagaya ni LABLEE HURNUNDEZ. Taenang yan. Hindi ko naman ata hahayaang mauwi ang lechugas kong kapalaran kagaya nung kapalaran niya.

For the aforementioned person above: "Malapit na akong mapuno sayo... Gigilitan na talaga kita ng leeg... Papakainin kita ng kalawang... Pakyu ka, gago!"

It is now because of her and that funky-smelling SURR FAIR-RYA (along with MISDABUWENDA) whom one of our classmate fancies that I will be having a lot of hammer-shaped marks this quarter.

And now, I am talking about these:

79, 78, 77...

... and how what used to be 12 now will come crashing down to either 22 or 32. In my world, that is really something to lament over for a couple of minutes.

I am a very sappy person. Deal with it, baby.

I will no longer insult my own intelligence by telling myself that things will be okay for the next few days. May lechugas na play prod pa kaming dapat harapin, at marami pang iba. Taena talaga ang buhay.

No one can never be too happy in this life. Name one who will be able to prove that postulation otherwise, and the next thing you know, you've already lost all your toes. Hihirit ka pa, eh.

Boy Tikoy: As promised. *tongue out*

2005-09-10T13:37:00.000+08:00

maselang bahaghari

I was disturbed.

Chemical Reactions. Solutions. Mixtures. Colloids. I've heard it all before the past years. They were all so familiar to me that their basic concepts need not be explained to me over again anymore, and the fact that our teacher was reiterating the same things a thousand times over this morning signaled the call for me to whack my head with a metal pencil case or something.

"Kim, give me an example of a liquid in liquid solution."

Bleep.

It was only then that the usual eye pains I've had before started to kick in once again. My nostrils were also clogged due to the colds I've had recently, and it is also because of the same damn thing that my voice has become gruff and crisp, curbing me back from reciting in front. But our teacher insisted that I provide her an immediate response. Damn her.

The truth of the matter was, I can't think of any liquid in liquid solution as of the moment - my brain wasn't functioning well, to be exact. She definitely broke the ice. She served as an ice pick.

After a few minutes of giving others the impression that I was collecting my thoughts to arrive at a decent answer, I finally belted out, "I'm sorry miss. Hindi po gumagana utak ko ngayon eh."

"An example of a liquid in liquid solution is a concentrated shampoo. Am I right girls? Kim, kahit hindi gumagana ang utak mo, maiisip mo yan," she hit back.

That woman clearly didn't understand that I was going through a lot of thinking that moment concerning other important matters that needed most of my consideration rather than her and her effing solutions. She can do fine without me comprehending today's lesson. Taenang yan. Pinahiya pa ako sa klase.

I was thinking of my report card, if you might ask, for I was aware that I didn't do well in the first quarter. I woke up and came about anticipating a long line of 7's to embellish my card this afternoon.

You think it isn't too much? You think I am overreacting? You think I am exaggerating? Well, damn you, then. Burn in hell if you must. IT IS TOO MUCH. I've never had 70s in my report card before and now here I stand at the brink of academic brilliance, set to finally suck in the aforementioned field. My so-called success doesn't lie anywhere else rather than in the field of academics. It is the only thing I am QUITE good at, and now here goes procrastination, slicing through my dreams of attaining satisfactory grades in my 3rd year in high school like butter knife in hot butter... like a blade slicing through the air... damnation...

Lalo na yung physics. Taenang yan, panira ng masayang buhay. Tanggap ko pa yung statistics, trigonometry, chemistry at analytic geometry eh. These subjects have upright mentors to have their concepts well elucidated. If ever I'd get poor marks in these, the blame is to be shot back at me. BUT IN PHYSICS?

I guess you get the picture. I mean, you must. I cannot elaborate a lot of things here - I might even be sued for doing such. Basta, para sa pinakamamahal naming guro doon, taena mo. Mumurahin talaga kita dito kung pwede lang.

...

OLC Classroom
In front of the chalk ledge
approximately 3:20 p.m.

I was flashing the most credible ear-to-ear smile I believed would express the profundity of my contented sentiment.

Facing the chalkboard broadened my beam even more. I know it's not too much to brag about, but then again, it provided me the feel that if anyone else could've made it the way I did, then their names would've been jotted down on the board as well.

12. Naranja, Kimberly Ann A.

Taenang yan! Sa lagay na ganito, naka pang-12 pa ako sa classroom? Grabe. Hindi na ako makahirit pa.

I then moved my pair of biological windows to the sheet of paper I've been clutching with intense grasp the whole time. And then it hit me.

My grades were okay, after all. Okay, I tell you. Not well enough, but okay. I couldn't have asked for anything better, though I got a couple of 84s on analytic geometry, statistics, and trigonometry. But then again, it is reasonable. I flunked most of their tests. Walang samaan ng loob, pare.

And then its sight caused the most credible ear-to-ear smile I just flashed a little while ago to die away resembling dust in the wind.

Chemistry ---------------------- 82

The very same question kept on reverberating from one side of my ear to the other. What the hell went wrong?

Damn it. I almost perfected most of your quizzes. I did well on your seatworks. My experiment paper grades were a bit questionable, but then again, I PASSED them all. Medyo tagilid din ako sa exams mo noon, pero taena... Pumasa ako, hah. So what the hell went wrong?

Physics ---------------------- 85

God knows where you got my mark, LRH. I was really expecting a 78 or 79 here, but the grade you gave proved my supposition otherwise. Ang galing.

Haha. So I've been exaggerating things this morning. Taena.

That's it. It's time to juice some puppies up a bit. Konti na lang!

Pictures from the debate held in St. Paul San Rafael last God-knows-when:

L-R: Kim, KC, Zche, Eka, Siyel, Chynna and BES Dana. I can be a very effective baby powder endorser, can't I?

Check us out with our beloved Margarita from the background. Magaling na debater yan!

Chin, Dana, Kim and Joyce. Cell phone endorser naman ako dito.

BEST FRIENDS(?) Eka and Kim (Nar na nga lang, pwede?)

KC: Hahaha! I bagged everything! (that's my hand over there, as you can see. Galing kaya.)

Kimnar: KC, believe me, you didn't. With my evil eyes, I did! Mwahaha!

Pamilya mainit on the way home from Manong's bus.

2005-08-25T19:11:00.000+08:00

invisible mode

I haven't been able to take command over my own emotions and views well enough lately.

In sooth I know not why I am so sad.
It wearies me, you say it wearies you.
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn.
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me
That I have much ado to know myself.

I have been submissive, extremely less-temperate and skeptical these past few days. Without a doubt, that's how I've become after weeks of inclusive assimilation of the insides of thick erudite reading materials. (we've been busy with school stuff lately) Things have been getting out of hand lately and some events have been going off-beam. Is it to be blamed upon me that I simply cannot achieve the highest emotional quotient amongst these fools of whose faces I've been accustomed into passing by on a daily basis? Just so you know, I am not even geared up yet with the enough potency to keep up with my own mood swings myself.

For all I know, I have already become a lethal substance, ready to cause unforeseen trepidations. Start to fear me.

Your mind is tossing on the ocean,
There where your argosies with portly sail.

Unsheathing all of my violent sentiments within with "highly offensive" terms or phrases such as "Putanginang buhay! Nakakaasar naman ang mga tao dito!" and "Taena! Ano ba naman itong mga nangyayari?" might not just do the trick. I have to come up with something more fruitful to cut my infuriation by a hundredfold ... something less detestable... something decent...

But rest assured, it would absolutely not be finishing "The Merchant of Venice" in a sitting or two. Reading that effing book just entices my exasperations even more. Why would I, or anyone else in this sick sad little world, want to hear of insignificant dialogues and banters about a man who couldn't pay his debt on a due engagement? Of a man who was hooted at and made fun of just because he failed to put a few precise particulars on his law of contract? Of the woes and wearies of a striking and upright lady who couldn't even make a fine choice on who will be her spouse for she is forbidden to? Of a vindictive moneylender of whose daughter fled with her Jewish aficionado?

NO ONE. In my world, at least.

Listening to music of different genres might just mark the end of all these monkeyshines, though. Kjwan's and Bamboo's, to be exact. Kung gusto mo naman sa lintik na cueshe, patay kang bata ka. Sa ibaba ka mapupunta - down under where Satan and his minions party 24/7.

What is music for you?
- Entertainment. Spritirual substance. Emotional therapy and catalyst at the same time. A drug that can fuck you up and equally capable of lifting you up somewhere higher. Universal language. God.

That's all about it. I am out of here.

"By my troth, my little body is aweary of this great world."

2005-08-11T17:49:00.000+08:00

this day deserves a big fat ARGH.

to hell with those effing tests i've dealt with by means of insufficient time.

can i just get these things over and done with overnight? i'm sooooper worn out already. haven't they had enough?

finally, i've had a piece of you. *evil snicker* it's just fate, baby.

2005-07-26T08:22:00.000+08:00

speed of sound.

Change is inevitable, and that is why most people tend to detest it. If I remember correctly, I have always hated it for as long as my brain could summon up definite projections of my past life. Who would want to witness the things they've always valued just the way they are all fall down because of change? It's just the same damn thing that would constantly ensue in our lives, but on various occasions.

And just to cut this ill-equipped preface short, let me just articulate the fact that change DOES suck.

However, some alterations came to me in a very unusual approach last Friday and Saturday. Oh yes. Change has made some of my "evil" cells atrophy just by themselves because of being left exposed to the excessive goodness I, by all means, welcomed to come to me with open arms. Gah. To hell with that Recollection our school conducted for enticing me to commit myself into hallowed things.

But then again, if I hadn't gone to that Recollection...

- I wouldn't have vied for ownership over that cute orange Oxygen shirt against my mother (who didn't want to see me wearing it since she claims it hers)

- I wouldn't have been mistaken as a freshman by three freshmen girls as I made my way to the gym last Friday morning (how I wished I could've strangled them for that - that was discrimination in my part)
- I wouldn't have witnessed the ultimate shock of seeing both KC and teenoe donning shirts boasting the colors of hot pink and baby pink respectively.
- I never would've begged on my knees for jocelyn's extra vigil candle (since, out of the sheer languor of remember things, I have forgotten mine)
- I wouldn't have seen teenoe have this "Dora" nametag
- I wouldn't have played the infamous Uno Stackos with the class in the verge of losing (by the time I was about to grab a certain piece and place it on top, the stack was all wobbly) and emerge from it victorious
- I wouldn't have, with the whole of OLC, made a square out of a very long rope with blindfolds on our eyes (to hell with that paper-thing that kept on brushing the bottom of my nose throughout the activity)
- I never would've had the chance to hug each and every one of my classmates for what seemed like 20 seconds (and say sorry to those people whom I've done injustice, both on purpose and subconsciously)
- I never would've eaten at least FOUR times a day with Gx
- I never would have decided to offer closure to the business regarding the "other side" (and let go of my twin brothers who've been a part of my life, even for just an undersized while)
- I still wouldn't have appreciated a lot of things (and mostly people) more
- My eyes would still be fastened from the fact that life is short (and tends to be unfair at times) that we'll just have to get used to it and make the most out of it while it lasts
- I never would've seen Joyce and Chin share the same toothbrush (Joyce, this has got to be one of the most memorable things you couldn't possibly fail to bear in mind with just a snap)
- I never would've had "sober sessions" with my hotshots, dana oreo.
- I never would've had my very first serious confession ever (and never would have revealed my deepest, darkest hush-hushes to date, all of which I've sworn to keep in secrecy)
- I never would've agreed to have a cheese pimiento sandwich for merienda
- I never would've felt the urge to make amends for lots of things so much
- I wouldn't have stuck up my nose, toddled down the aisle like in a catwalk, and talked all about the things in which I think I excel in
- I never would've experienced praying the rosary and hitting the sack literally like a corpse alone in my bed surrounded by pitch-black darkness
- I never would've memorized the five sorrowful mysteries of the most Holy Rosary in less than ten seconds
- I never would've known that Patricia Batacan's middle initial was "Alvaran"
- I never would've promised miss cua to listen to her lessons as an alternative for busying myself with other worthwhile things
- I still would've been wishing certain people were dead
- I never would've perfected Fr. Sonny's friend test (he himself never perfected it - not even once. Hah. In your face!)
- I never would've listed my ALL sins down (they counted roughly up to 30+ sins. Beat that.)
- I never would have known about miss fern's desire to reach out to me (since she found me aloof during that very first encounter in the chapel)
- I never would've found out that going up and down from 1st to 5th floor can be accomplished in less than five minutes without a drop of sweat
- I never would've had the opportunity to use dana's eskinol facial cleanser (for the first time) and joyce's sunsilk shampoo (the black one, which I found very interesting)
- I never would've known Christine (Romero) and Janna well enough (and have "iyakan sessions" with them
- I never would've had the chance to tell teenoe on how much we're willing to waste away some of our time just to get to her whenever she's in need
- I never would've gotten to lend both of my ears to chin's "sensual stories" on her "sensuwal na kama"
- I never would've known Fr. Sonny Arevalo SDB (did I really have to take his whole name down?) and hear some of his inspirational tales (he rawks, I tell you. He does!)
- I never would've hugged him and smelled his "ambrosial" shirt (we both had Oxygen shirts on...)
- I wouldn't have had the chance to squeeze my best friend in a tight hug for more than 20 seconds
- I never would've come to realize that some things are just not meant to turn out the way we would want them to be
- I never, for the first time in my whole life, would have missed my two pesky brothers
- I never would have had a stinging clear picture of my greatest fear of being alone
- I never would've felt the urge to say sorry to sr. marissa for wielding a brush last week in front of the chapel
- I still never would have let my friends know how much they mean to me
- I still would've been unaware that St. Paul logos are encrusted on every plate and cup in the school canteen
- I never would've had karaoke sessions with Gx in joyce's house after ("quit playing games with my heart...")
- I still would've had the urge to stab the one who stole jam's wallet in the neck
- some things with still wouldn't have been changed for the better.

Kudos to change for it has indeed made me feel holy, even for just a short while. Gusto ko nang maging mabait, for crying out loud.

change will never break us apart. OLC 05-06.

hapee, superfriends25! Shine on!

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." - Isaiah 44:22

2005-07-15T20:02:00.000+08:00

under my umbrella

me: "jocelyn, patingin nga nung gawa mo sa THE..."
Jocelyn: *hands out her oslo paper*
me: *scans the second sheet with prying eyes* "uy! bakit ganito ang spelling ng 'right' mo?"
jocelyn: "patingin!" *grabs paper swiftly* "oo nga! ano ba ito? saan ito nanggaling?!"
me: *laughs* "bakit 'RIGT'?"

Indeed, being aware of the truth that I have never - and I mean NEVER - misspelled the word "RIGHT" ever since the dawn of my high school life truly makes me feel blessed. I can spell "right" the way it is to be spelled correctly even while being immersed in a big reservoir of CuSo4 solution. It is, after all, just a simple word that doesn't take overnight to be properly spelled. So jocelyn, bear in mind that practice makes perfect. It has never failed anyone - not even I. Kaya mo yan. I know you can do it.

For starters... today initiated with me. I woke up this morning having these excruciating sensations surrounding my eyes and the back of my head. It hurt all the more when I suddenly came to realize that I didn't even know since when and why this pain keeps on resurfacing itself every now and then. It's starting to touch the very end of my nerve endings, mind you. Nakakaasar na. I suppose I should now heed joyce's advice to have my eyes checked or risk the possibility of being blind for the rest of my life. (overstatements reloaded)

REALITY CHECK: I still would want to see J-hoon Balbuena (kjwan's percussion freak) and Joseph Yeo's (the man with the incredibly broad shoulders) facades (lacking the aid of camera tricks) with healthy eyes. That is to be able to appreciate more the rationale on why my mates, dana and yza are unceasingly swooning over their presence. As stupid as I may seem, I just don't get it, and that is why I'm having my two biological windows checked soon.

(j-hoon and joseph: be ready for me now.)

Before I completely forget - I would just like to thank teenoe for that scrumptious pack of Hershey's kisses (regardless of where on earth it came from) of which chocolaty goodness, by the way, I did not munch through single-handedly. Darling, whatever your crises may be, I suppose you can go through all them in no time. If you don't feel like talking about them with us lest publicity might suddenly act on you, fine. We understand. Just pray and the enlightenment you seek for you shall soon find.

RECORD-BREAKING NEWS

Who: Kimberly Ann Naranja and Mary Dana Louise Torio

What: Stayed inside the chapel for approximately 10 whole minutes

Where: SPUQC Chapel (near the Aurora Gate)

When: Friday, July 15, 2005

Why: "we just felt like it..."

HOW, you might ask?

It was teenoe (this is the second time you've been mentioned around here. What's with you?) that urged dana and I to enter the consecrated sanctuary this morning. We wanted to check out what she will be doing since she got in with this "how-long-must-I-continue-to-live?-pwede-bang-mamatay-na-lang-ako?!" look on her face which signaled us that she is either up to no good or she's going to spill everything inside. We finally followed suit.

She stayed in there for a couple of minutes while we were at the far end, examining her every move. What seemed like less than two minutes of surveillance turned to five, and then before dana and I knew it, we were already busying ourselves monitoring the people coming in and out of the chapel instead. The idea of praying never came into our minds that time and for that, Master Edward Brian Sy Beng, we plead for your pardon. We can utterly never be like you who can surmount the weight of being able to busy yourself with prayer in a span of roughly thirty minutes in complete solitude. We'd be dishonest if we'd say that if we were given an alternative, we'd pick two hours of praying for world peace over making fun of people for two hours. We are depravity and sinfulness made flesh, to say the least. But worry not, the treasure of our soul - hindi kami ang pinakamasamang mga tao sa mundong ito na natitiis pang pumasok sa chapel tuwing umaga. There's always this being who, armed with the horribly putrid scent of her underarms ("bumbay-style") and super-immoral ways of living, still manages to infiltrate through the glass doors of the chapel without acquiring third-degree burns and atrophied organs. How does she do it, by the way?

Gayness aside, that 10-minute stay inside the chapel was something. I never would have made it, even if my life depended on it. I didn't like the idea of staying inside the chapel just to pelt God with superfluous entreaties of supplication. Pero susubukan na namin ni dana na sanayin ang mga sarili naming magdasal and be the SOLDIERS OF CHRIST (Reloaded). We wouldn't like to end up being like her brothers who, because of their malnourished prayer lives, ended up sniffing some illegal stuff. Kaya kayo, ____ at ____, masanay na kayong magdasal. Makakabuti yun sa inyo.

LBM (refer to teenoe's previous posts for the acronym's denotation) did not grace us with her presence during our world history class this afternoon. I assume she spent 50 minutes or less attending to her oral hygiene since it is, by all means, totally... unhealthy.

what else has transpired?

- I wasn't able to answer three items on miss caccam's SURPRISE quiz (which did catch me by surprise)
- I finally aced on adding and subtracting fractions (after almost 6 years of keeping on forgetting how)
- I wanted to investigate even more on the obscured persona of miss bengua's irving
- I started to hate AB... (kinokontra nya yung isang research proposal namin and never gave my hotshots the chance to explain about our last option)
- ... and hated LRH even more.
- My best friend invited me for lunch this Tuesday (which is what really caught me by surprise since it is indeed unusual for her to do so)
- I got touched by eka's attempt to spend a little time with me
- I felt the urge to stab someone's neck
- I ate three bars of Snickers before hitting the sack (11:30 pm)

Gosh. It has indeed turned "iridescent" around here. Puro yellow. Haha. How ironic.

And this has been my lengthiest post so far! Kudos to me.

INTRODUCING... CHYNNA'S FANTASTIC FEET!
(makakakuha na ako ng picture ng dancing feet ni Chin soon. *dances to the tune of "feel good" *)

THE REAL LIFE. 3 Doors Down.
I wanted to find somewhere to hide
When I opened up and let those fears inside
I wanted to be anyone else
Only to find out that there's no one there but me
But I woke up to the real life
And I realized it's not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now
Until I find a better part of me
I let those hard days get me down
And all the things I hate got in my way
I could've screamed without a sound
I found myself silenced by those tings they say
But I woke up to the real life
And I realized it's not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now
Until I find a better part of me
That's out there somewhere
And it can't be that far away
That's where I found myself
And I'll find my way out
That's where I'll find out

(if dana has Joel Madden, I'll have you to deal with then, Benji Madden. You are, after all, too hot to handle as well.)

Why on earth do my friends abhor you, dearest? You did nothing against them. You are not evil, and it'd please me to no end if I would have my uniform autographed by your precious hands. "I won't give up on you, baby!"

2005-07-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

memoirs.

To come into a point wherein your own life is already appealing enough to be written about is definitely gratifying. Judging nonetheless from the things I've been getting and the things that has been happening to my so-called life recently, I wouldn't be able to say that my being falls into that kind. I still have a few home works left undone, a laboratory gown left crammed with creases, a topic or two in physics still waiting to be comprehended by my little brain, and an unpaid locker. I still have to work on these kinds of predicaments before I label my own life "appealing" enough for everyone to read about.

My years of living used to lack vibrancy and spice (oh yes, that's the most appropriate term, so to speak) until an evil bunch of cantankerous, flesh-eating carnivores attempted to visit me inside my humble abode made of fresh foliages of leaves and dried up tree branches left alone in the jungle one murky night. Their leader, a feline-like creature unaware of me being nocturnal (which can sometimes get so amazing, once my eyes smolder in the dark in a reddish glow) ordered her subjects to end my miserable life. I wouldn't be here writing about this piece of dull article which exactly has no point whatsoever if it weren't for her loyal right-hand whom I've heard was actually addressed by the name Joyce. (The leader of the pack, the fireflies told me, was Chynna, a ruthless tiger ready to crush her victims in an instant anytime, anywhere) She beseeched their chief to cease the attempt to attack me lest I might retaliate against their assault and let the ruddy shine of my eyes penetrate through their bodies, ushering them to death. Much to my surprise, Chynna saw the potential I never thought I possessed at that time through my unprepossessing countenance (I was sporting a headband at that time, if you might want to know) and let me live with her pack, believing that somehow, someday, I might be of great use.

They thought me the ways of living with the fact that I would have to deal with the inconsiderate ambiance of St. Paul University, QC. Angge and Zcheyenne were superb gurus in hunting for female rodents to be arranged for dinner later on by Jocelyn, the only animal lucky enough to have studied culinary arts (and survived, thank God) in the immense world of human beings downtown. I would make them homes and coats on cold nights and would be asked to repair if some things were damaged most likely caused by the turmoil Jamille, the resident carpenter of the pack would often bring forth whenever she swings her hammer as large as a modern vendo machine. I came to enjoy the refuge this little home brought me day by day, and all the more when Price thought of bequeathing upon me a little of whatever she knows about arts and crafts one blistering morning. That very same day Rita initiated me to the art of having even at least a tiny bit of a fashion sense despite the fact that we lived in a suburban village cradled by all the fuddy-duddy things in life. Eji, Czaren, and Dana, on the other hand, inducted me to have this dream of being in a (what was that term again?) band once they have heard me one night grumbling out inhuman wails and have seen me pummeling rocks with an uncanny speed. With them I dreamt of forming a group in which I could develop all these "skills" altogether, and here I am now on the apex of my success: being in the renowned band of Oxygen.

I, in due time, began to take in and enjoy the perceptions these people carried into my world in which the values of everything I have supposed about my life were nothing more than a pile of bat dung. We eventually took a trip down into the real world where more of these contemporary things were more appreciated and maltreated less. I have been into this pack for more than a year now, and I must say - beneath the myriad smiles, rabid conversations, song-writing proficiencies and perceptions people might have, I must say that I've enjoyed every minute of being with this evil bunch of cantankerous, flesh-eating carnivores collectively known as Gx12 and I know that if I hadn't just said that, I'd totally regret it. Like totally.

IN CAVDA VENEVM GENESIS X IN AETERNUM AD EXTREMEMUM.

2005-07-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

high.

masaya ako ngayon. Alam mo kung bakit? Hah. Make a wild guess. Hindi mo pa rin mahulaan? Guess again.

wala ka bang napapansing bago dito?

wala talaga? Sige na nga.

Wala naman talagang nagbago dito eh. Nagpapapansin lang ako nung mga panahong iyon. Haha. Ang tanga mo naman - nadala ka. Wala lang. Anyway, kung hindi mo pa din talaga mapansin kung ano ang medyo nag-change dito... ewan ko na sayo. Hindi mo pa din ba napapansin na nagtatagalog ako ngayon? Wala lang. Naisipan ko lang gumawa ng tagalog na "blogpost". Mukhang masaya eh. Tingnan mo ako ngayon: masaya.

ayan. Sinayang ko na yung oras mo kakabasa ng walang kwentang introduction na iyon. Kekwentuhan naman kita ng mga nangyari sa akin simula nung Thursday (naku... English ito ah. Kailangan ka namin ngayon, MT, for you are edgar allan poe's beloved "successor") haha.

Maganda na sana yung araw kahapon eh. Kahit papaano eh naenjoy ko yung pagkuha ng sangkatutak na "essence" na kusang-loob na ibinigay sa akin ng aking current "fire". Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako nung malaman kong may mararating na ako sa college dahil matinong grupo ang makakasama ko sa paggawa ng thesis sa susunod na taon at hindi yung grupong walang mararating dahil sa... basta. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil magaganda yung research proposals namin. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil dadating na ang tatay ko kinabukasan at makakapiling na naming siya muli (at magkakaroon na ako ng bagong pares ng chucks). Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil kahit papaano eh naenjoy ko naman yung pagkain ng crepe na niluto ni carlsten (gwapo! gwapo!) Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil napanood ko ulit yung MAGNIFICO kanina. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil ngayon ko lang nalaman na kahit papaano'y may ibubuga din pala ako sa pagvo-volleyball, at nakaabot hanggang sa letter "M" yung grupo ko sa PE kahapon. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil mapapasaya ko si tino ngayong Lunes, sapagkat ako ang naka-schedule na magpakain sa kanya nun. Pero hindi eh. Alam mo yun?

haay, buhay. Madami talagang tae sa mundo. Bakit kung kailan masaya na ang lahat, saka ka pa babangon mula sa taehan? Nakakaasar talaga. Gah. Wala lang. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko. Nawalan ako ng gana kumain kaninang lunch. Masuka-suka na ako sa tuwing nalalanghap ko yung hangin na nalalanghap mo rin. Bwisit talaga ang mundo. Wala lang. Samahan mo pa ng pagkadismaya ko dahil hindi ko mapapanood and concert ng GOOD CHARLOTTE ngayong gabi (actually, ang gusto ko lang naman talagang mapanood dun eh yung mayonnaise, who happens to be one of the opening acts for to-night) Nakakainis talaga ang buhay. Napaka-abismal. Mabuti pa yung iba dyan, pabanat-banat na lang. Eh ako? Ano? Wala. Madami akong gustong hindi ko nakukuha. Yung iba hindi talaga pwedeng makuha, kahit maglupasay sa sahig. Yung iba, nakuha mo na sana, kaya lang, wala. Nawala rin bigla. Yung iba masyado nang mataas para abutin. GAH! Galit talaga ako sa buhay ko ngayon. Bakit ba? Bakit pa? Ayoko na.

Wala lang.

FU. Bamboo.
Why do you hate him
Why did you make him leave
There's nothing wrong with him
Why do you hate him
You want him crucified
Is it the way he looks
Or the way he speaks his mind
Never hear this song playing on the radio
O There's nothing wrong with him
But it's you and your friends
Never hear this song playing on the radio
All you ever did was talk about her
She's done what she had to do
Having to raise two kids without a father
You just stood by idly watched her suffer
You think you're something special
Boy you blew it! This conversation's over…
Never hear this song playing on the radio
There's nothing wrong with her
But it's you and your friends
Fuck you and your friends
Never hear this song playing on the radio

2005-07-02T17:34:00.000+08:00

two-trick pony
TEMPTATION (n) the act of giving in to a desire especially when misguided; something that persuades one to perform an action for pleasure or gain (money, power, etc.) overwhelming temptations can cause a person to commit crimes.

it was also, most likely, temptation that ensnared five mere mortals to employ themselves into special activities that hazy Wednesday afternoon: three of the SUPERFRIENDS (tino, dana oreo and yours truly), and TWO FRESHMEN STUDENTS (one in yellow and black, the other in pink) who couldn't seem to get enough of each other.

Everything instigated on that fateful lunch period on the 29th of June. While the three of us (of whose forenames had just been asserted above) were feasting on a measly amount of strawberry-filled "Tini-Wini's," we all agreed to pass by the washroom on the second floor so as to grant command on tino's fancy of cleansing her face with her "incredible" facial wash. As lively as we persistently are, we ambled briskly, giving off jolly chortles as we shared both decent and malevolent gags. (*snorts*) Whilst we were verging ourselves on the assurance that nothing could possibly go off beam at that time, the precise moment that tino handed me her box of "Tini-Wini" (again, with strawberry filling) and flung the comfort room door ajar proved our supposition wrong.

Our ears and minds had not failed to elucidate what the resonance we just perceived right at the moment meant. There, obscured by a sabotaged cubicle door with graffiti such as "ang cute ni ____!" and "p...tng...na mo, ___!" were moans of pleasure and anticipation shared by two people in the same compartment.

P...tng...na. Nag e-fk (French kissing) yata itong dalawang ito eh. Or worse..."

it was at that precise instant that a voice echoed in our psyches to bring forth a message.

"Open the door you must... Open the door you must!"

that very same voice reverberated within our minds for quite some time. We panicked and didn't know what to think about the tight spot we're in. We opted to just hang around outside the comfort room and see what comes out of our presumptions. While discussing the things and... er... stuffs we could've brought at that time to capture that "perfect moment," (we even wished that we brought a camera or tape recorder to trace the whole thing up as verification) the door unbolted.

Lo and behold! A freshman student in pink, flattening the creases on her top, went out of the cubicle, motioning herself frontward to scan the outer surface of their sham paradise for passers by who could've heard their whimpers of immoral bliss. (we were, of course, acting as if we never heard anything of their "hidden agenda" by putting on edgy beams and feigned grins) minutes later, she began beckoning a relatively squat Korean freshman in yellow and black ("Parang pambubuyog yung damit nya!" -Dana) who seemed to be her partner in their "love-making."

Glass. Incubus.
If I had a dime for every time you walked away,
I could afford to not give a shit
and buy a drink and drown the day
But your pockets, they are empty,
yeah, and mine are times two
So why not make an about-face,
and accept the love I send to you?
You're never gonna be content if you don't try,
try to see outside your line.
There you go, you did it again!
You act as if there's blinders on your eyes.
Should I apologize if what I say burns your ears and stains
your eyes?
Oh, did I crack your shell?
When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well!
Like a bottle with the cork stuck,
your true ingredients trapped inside.
Through the cloudy glass we catch a glimpse of you,
I guess the hard shell represents your pride.
Oh, if only it could be different
we could uncover the you you deny.
Between two, a small discrepancy,
one complicates and one simplifies.
TAKE THOSE FUCKING BLINDERS OFF YOUR EYES.
So if I had a dime for every time you walked away,
you could bet your bottom dollar that
I'd be filthy rich by noon today

2005-06-27T19:16:00.000+08:00

preceding...

I cannot take this anymore. This whole "since you're now in your third year already as high schoolers, people now expect a lot MORE from you" thing has finally gotten into my very last nerve ending. After succumbing to our mentors' relentless orders of doing homework every now and then without even a single gripe making its way out of our orifices, (at least they don't make themselves flamboyant. Haha.) I think we guys have finally had enough. Gargh. School sucks especially when fused with stuffs such as being aware of the measurements of the skulls of homo sapiens. What the hell. Just kill me.

but before I die, here are some of the stuffs I'd like to have and do first. At least you people now have an idea on whatever things would make my cold corpse smile just in case my time finally arrives any time now.

MY WISHLIST.

1. have "Stanley," my dream drum set, and play him with astounding professionalism for hours. I have to thump out my frustrations with a bit of musicality, you know.
2. cut someone's hair off, leaving only fifteen strands discernible.
3. cause a regional blackout in the Philippines
4. be one of the main reasons for OXYGEN'S worldwide success.
5. eat one whole BigMac.
6. be able to learn by heart all the words integrated in http://www.m-w.com and be able to use them through constructing formal and informal essays.
7. smell ms. Martinez's armpit.
8. watch "Danny Phantom" for twelve hours straight on a Monday.
9. spend a day with my best friend, ERICKA SALONGA.
10. ... and with my 31 for a day, spending the whole of it watching the television while indulging ourselves in cheese curls.

... and the list goes on and on and on and on. To be continued.

STANLEY: the fire of my loins.

2005-06-25T17:25:00.000+08:00

verblassen.

"Paano mo sasabihin sa isang tao na bad breath siya?"

I still can't seem to find the perfect clincher that would respond to such cliche though I have to confess, I had been the pioneer who initially knew that the infamous basilisko had halitosis. Had she not borrowed my scientific calculator and questioned me on how it works, her dark secret would not have been made known to the populace. However, that is not enough rationale for me to bear this insurmountable pain and be in such a tight spot the second time around. I'm not exactly a magnet for people with fetid mouthfuls of air, am I?

Yesterday afternoon, the long sought-after retention of the answer to this question had just been chucked squarely at my face. I was inside "the vacuum" with sweat running freely all over my face, riled by the fact that instead of providing my ears to a symposium about drug addiction, (that ought to be motivating) we'd be strained to listen to a talk on the various courses offered in SPUQC. I was going on like "it's not like I'd be off wasting my university years in here again, will I?" while talking to two certain people about the huge mistake of being there inside, distressed from ennui when it ensued.

SWOOSH.

it happened so fast that not even a single word would be fit enough to describe it. As I swished my head to my side, that outlandish scent akin to rotten cabbages caressed my physiognomy, and before I knew it, I looked like an idiot in a trance. My mouth was left sheltered with my hanky mingled with sweat and blood (my lip was bleeding at that time). I swiftly felt mucus fighting their way outside my nostrils, my head suddenly began to ache, and then all the more when I set my mind to find the iniquitous source of such disgrace.

"and then I saw her face... now I'm a believer..."

(I wished to elaborate explicit details here, but the fear of hurting uber gossamer feelings held me back. Please bear with me.)

THINGS I DID (and hoped I hadn't done) TO-DAY
1. Tino, KC and I went "armpit hunting."
Tino: "tara! Amuyin natin yung kilikili ni dyan!"
(tino, KC and kimnar glides forward, eventually ending up being at dyan's back, sniffing her armpits.)
Nar: "mabango yung kanya! Walang amoy!"
KC: (laughs) "amuyin din natin yung kay ate marian!"

2. Submitted an uncolored diagram of my opinion between "Evolution" and "Creationism" to miss buen that looked like it had been sketched for only a minute or three...

3. ... and crossed my fingers and swore to flay her alive if she ever reprimands me for it.

4. Began to love Physics and appreciated more of ms. Lovely's "prefiksis" and "akostiks".

5. initiated talks on French-kissing.

6. worshipped significant figures

7. went to mcdonald's at tomas morato with gx (kuya, chin, joyce, dana t., price and Jocelyn)

8. prayed that joyce won't beat the living hell out of us after what happened...

9. hanged out at joyce's while watching an irritable anime

10. got sick and had coughs and colds

FRUITCAKE. Eraserheads.

There's a fruitcake for everybody
There's a fruitcake for everyone
There are b-sides to every story
If you decide to have some fun

Take a bite
It's alright
There's some brandy and star margarine to make it bright
Take a bite
It's alright
A little lovin' and some fruit to bake
Life is a piece of cake

It's the season for being happy
But the reason is dead and gone
If the reason for being happy
Takes a backseat when the season's done

Just take a bite
It's alright
Taste the taste that sent all mothers giggling in sheer delight
Take a bite
It's alright
A little lovin and some fruit to bake
Life is a piece of cake

Everybody, everywhere people do you really care
Christmas time has once again arrived
Everybody, everywhere people do you really care
Christmas time has once again arrived

Mistletoe and a little snow
But we don't get it there at fruitcake heights
Mistletoe and a little snow
But we don't get it there at fruitcake heights

Stars are falling down from heaven
But it's nowhere near our town
Miracles are falling down from heaven
But it's nowhere near our town

There's a fruitcake in everybody
There's a fruitcake in everyone
There are b-sides to every story
If you decide to have some fun

Just take a bite
It's alright
Taste the taste that sent all mothers giggling in sheer delight
Take a bite
It's alright
A little lovin and some fruit to bake
Life is a piece of cake.