speed of sound.

Change is inevitable, and that is why most people tend to detest it. If I remember correctly, I have always hated it for as long as my brain could summon up definite projections of my past life. Who would want to witness the things they've always valued just the way they are all fall down because of change? It's just the same damn thing that would constantly ensue in our lives, but on various occasions.

And just to cut this ill-equipped preface short, let me just articulate the fact that change DOES suck.

However, some alterations came to me in a very unusual approach last Friday and Saturday. Oh yes. Change has made some of my "evil" cells atrophy just by themselves because of being left exposed to the excessive goodness I, by all means, welcomed to come to me with open arms. Gah. To hell with that Recollection our school conducted for enticing me to commit myself into hallowed things.

But then again, if I hadn't gone to that Recollection...

- I wouldn't have vied for ownership over that cute orange Oxygen shirt against my mother (who didn't want to see me wearing it since she claims it hers)

• - I wouldn't have been mistaken as a freshman by three freshmen girls as I made my way to the gym last Friday morning (how I wished I could've strangled them for that - that was discrimination in my part)
• - I wouldn't have witnessed the ultimate shock of seeing both KC and teenoe donning shirts boasting the colors of hot pink and baby pink respectively.
• - I never would've begged on my knees for jocelyn's extra vigil candle (since, out of the sheer languor of remember things, I have forgotten mine)
• - I wouldn't have seen teenoe have this "Dora" nametag
• - I wouldn't have played the infamous Uno Stackos with the class in the verge of losing (by the time I was about to grab a certain piece and place it on top, the stack was all wobbly) and emerge from it victorious
• - I wouldn't have, with the whole of OLC, made a square out of a very long rope with blindfolds on our eyes (to hell with that paper-thing that kept on brushing the bottom of my nose throughout the activity)
• - I never would've had the chance to hug each and every one of my classmates for what seemed like 20 seconds (and say sorry to those people whom I've done injustice, both on purpose and subconsciously)
• - I never would've eaten at least FOUR times a day with Gx
• - I never would have decided to offer closure to the business regarding the "other side" (and let go of my twin brothers who've been a part of my life, even for just an undersized while)
• - I still wouldn't have appreciated a lot of things (and mostly people) more
• - My eyes would still be fastened from the fact that life is short (and tends to be unfair at times) that we'll just have to get used to it and make the most out of it while it lasts
• - I never would've seen Joyce and Chin share the same toothbrush (Joyce, this has got to be one of the most memorable things you couldn't possibly fail to bear in mind with just a snap)
• - I never would've had "sober sessions" with my hotshots, dana oreo.
• - I never would've had my very first serious confession ever (and never would have revealed my deepest, darkest hush-hushes to date, all of which I've sworn to keep in secrecy)
• - I never would've agreed to have a cheese pimiento sandwich for merienda
• - I never would've felt the urge to make amends for lots of things so much
• - I wouldn't have stuck up my nose, toddled down the aisle like in a catwalk, and talked all about the things in which I think I excel in
• - I never would've experienced praying the rosary and hitting the sack literally like a corpse alone in my bed surrounded by pitch-black darkness
• - I never would've memorized the five sorrowful mysteries of the most Holy Rosary in less than ten seconds
• - I never would've known that Patricia Batacan's middle initial was "Alvaran"
• - I never would've promised miss cua to listen to her lessons as an alternative for busying myself with other worthwhile things
• - I still would've been wishing certain people were dead
• - I never would've perfected Fr. Sonny's friend test (he himself never perfected it - not even once. Hah. In your face!)
• - I never would've listed my ALL sins down (they counted roughly up to 30+ sins. Beat that.)
• - I never would have known about miss fern's desire to reach out to me (since she found me aloof during that very first encounter in the chapel)
• - I never would've found out that going up and down from 1st to 5th floor can be accomplished in less than five minutes without a drop of sweat
• - I never would've had the opportunity to use dana's eskinol facial cleanser (for the first time) and joyce's sunsilk shampoo (the black one, which I found very interesting)
• - I never would've known Christine (Romero) and Janna well enough (and have "iyakan sessions" with them
• - I never would've had the chance to tell teenoe on how much we're willing to waste away some of our time just to get to her whenever she's in need
• - I never would've gotten to lend both of my ears to chin's "sensual stories" on her "sensuwal na kama"
• - I never would've known Fr. Sonny Arevalo SDB (did I really have to take his whole name down?) and hear some of his inspirational tales (he rawks, I tell you. He does!)
• - I never would've hugged him and smelled his "ambrosial" shirt (we both had Oxygen shirts on...)
• - I wouldn't have had the chance to squeeze my best friend in a tight hug for more than 20 seconds
• - I never would've come to realize that some things are just not meant to turn out the way we would want them to be
• - I never, for the first time in my whole life, would have missed my two pesky brothers
• - I never would have had a stinging clear picture of my greatest fear of being alone
• - I never would've felt the urge to say sorry to sr. marissa for wielding a brush last week in front of the chapel
• - I still never would have let my friends know how much they mean to me
• - I still would've been unaware that St. Paul logos are encrusted on every plate and cup in the school canteen
• - I never would've had karaoke sessions with Gx in joyce's house after ("quit playing games with my heart...")
• - I still would've had the urge to stab the one who stole jam's wallet in the neck
• - some things with still wouldn't have been changed for the better.
  
  Kudos to change for it has indeed made me feel holy, even for just a short while. Gusto ko nang maging mabait, for crying out loud.
  
  

change will never break us apart. OLC 05-06.

hapee, superfriends25! Shine on!

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." - Isaiah 44:22

the generic generator @ 8:22 AM

***********************************************************************************

under my umbrella

me: "jocelyn, patingin nga nung gawa mo sa THE..."
Jocelyn: *hands out her oslo paper*
me: *scans the second sheet with prying eyes* "uy! bakit ganito ang spelling ng 'right' mo?"
jocelyn: "patingin!" *grabs paper swiftly* "oo nga! ano ba ito? saan ito nanggaling?!"
me: *laughs* "bakit 'RIGT'?"

Indeed, being aware of the truth that I have never - and I mean NEVER - misspelled the word "RIGHT" ever since the dawn of my high school life truly makes me feel blessed. I can spell "right" the way it is to be spelled correctly even while being immersed in a big reservoir of CuSo4 solution. It is, after all, just a simple word that doesn't take overnight to be properly spelled. So jocelyn, bear in mind that practice makes perfect. It has never failed anyone - not even I. Kaya mo yan. I know you can do it.

For starters... today initiated with me. I woke up this morning having these excruciating sensations surrounding my eyes and the back of my head. It hurt all the more when I suddenly came to realize that I didn't even know since when and why this pain keeps on resurfacing itself every now and then. It's starting to touch the very end of my nerve endings, mind you. Nakakaasar na. I suppose I should now heed joyce's advice to have my eyes checked or risk the possibility of being blind for the rest of my life. (overstatements reloaded)

REALITY CHECK: I still would want to see J-hoon Balbuena (kjwan's percussion freak) and Joseph Yeo's (the man with the incredibly broad shoulders) facades (lacking the aid of camera tricks) with healthy eyes. That is to be able to appreciate more the rationale on why my mates, dana and yza are unceasingly swooning over their presence. As stupid as I may seem, I just don't get it, and that is why I'm having my two biological windows checked soon.



(j-hoon and joseph: be ready for me now.)

Before I completely forget - I would just like to thank teenoe for that scrumptious pack of Hershey's kisses (regardless of where on earth it came from) of which chocolaty goodness, by the way, I did not munch through single-handedly. Darling, whatever your crises may be, I suppose you can go through all them in no time. If you don't feel like talking about them with us lest publicity might suddenly act on you, fine. We understand. Just pray and the enlightenment you seek for you shall soon find.



RECORD-BREAKING NEWS

Who: Kimberly Ann Naranja and Mary Dana Louise Torio

What: Stayed inside the chapel for approximately 10 whole minutes

Where: SPUQC Chapel (near the Aurora Gate)

When: Friday, July 15, 2005

Why: "we just felt like it..."


HOW, you might ask?


It was teenoe (this is the second time you've been mentioned around here. What's with you?) that urged dana and I to enter the consecrated sanctuary this morning. We wanted to check out what she will be doing since she got in with this "how-long-must-I-continue-to-live?-pwede-bang-mamatay-na-lang-ako?!" look on her face which signaled us that she is either up to no good or she's going to spill everything inside. We finally followed suit.

She stayed in there for a couple of minutes while we were at the far end, examining her every move. What seemed like less than two minutes of surveillance turned to five, and then before dana and I knew it, we were already busying ourselves monitoring the people coming in and out of the chapel instead. The idea of praying never came into our minds that time and for that, Master Edward Brian Sy Beng, we plead for your pardon. We can utterly never be like you who can surmount the weight of being able to busy yourself with prayer in a span of roughly thirty minutes in complete solitude. We'd be dishonest if we'd say that if we were given an alternative, we'd pick two hours of praying for world peace over making fun of people for two hours. We are depravity and sinfulness made flesh, to say the least. But worry not, the treasure of our soul - hindi kami ang pinakamasamang mga tao sa mundong ito na natitiis pang pumasok sa chapel tuwing umaga. There's always this being who, armed with the horribly putrid scent of her underarms ("bumbay-style") and super-immoral ways of living, still manages to infiltrate through the glass doors of the chapel without acquiring third-degree burns and atrophied organs. How does she do it, by the way?

Gayness aside, that 10-minute stay inside the chapel was something. I never would have made it, even if my life depended on it. I didn't like the idea of staying inside the chapel just to pelt God with superfluous entreaties of supplication. Pero susubukan na namin ni dana na sanayin ang mga sarili naming magdasal and be the SOLDIERS OF CHRIST (Reloaded). We wouldn't like to end up being like her brothers who, because of their malnourished prayer lives, ended up sniffing some illegal stuff. Kaya kayo, ____ at ____, masanay na kayong magdasal. Makakabuti yun sa inyo.

LBM (refer to teenoe's previous posts for the acronym's denotation) did not grace us with her presence during our world history class this afternoon. I assume she spent 50 minutes or less attending to her oral hygiene since it is, by all means, totally... unhealthy.

what else has transpired?


- I wasn't able to answer three items on miss caccam's SURPRISE quiz (which did catch me by surprise)
- I finally aced on adding and subtracting fractions (after almost 6 years of keeping on forgetting how)
- I wanted to investigate even more on the obscured persona of miss bengua's irving
- I started to hate AB... (kinokontra nya yung isang research proposal namin and never gave my hotshots the chance to explain about our last option)
- ... and hated LRH even more.
- My best friend invited me for lunch this Tuesday (which is what really caught me by surprise since it is indeed unusual for her to do so)
- I got touched by eka's attempt to spend a little time with me
- I felt the urge to stab someone's neck
- I ate three bars of Snickers before hitting the sack (11:30 pm)

Gosh. It has indeed turned "iridescent" around here. Puro yellow. Haha. How ironic.

And this has been my lengthiest post so far! Kudos to me.

INTRODUCING... CHYNNA'S FANTASTIC FEET!
(makakakuha na ako ng picture ng dancing feet ni Chin soon. *dances to the tune of "feel good" *)

THE REAL LIFE. 3 Doors Down.
I wanted to find somewhere to hide
When I opened up and let those fears inside
I wanted to be anyone else
Only to find out that there's no one there but me
But I woke up to the real life
And I realized it's not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now
Until I find a better part of me
I let those hard days get me down
And all the things I hate got in my way
I could've screamed without a sound
I found myself silenced by those tings they say
But I woke up to the real life
And I realized it's not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now
Until I find a better part of me
That's out there somewhere
And it can't be that far away
That's where I found myself
And I'll find my way out
That's where I'll find out


(if dana has Joel Madden, I'll have you to deal with then, Benji Madden. You are, after all, too hot to handle as well.)


Why on earth do my friends abhor you, dearest? You did nothing against them. You are not evil, and it'd please me to no end if I would have my uniform autographed by your precious hands. "I won't give up on you, baby!"

the generic generator @ 8:02 PM

***********************************************************************************

memoirs.

To come into a point wherein your own life is already appealing enough to be written about is definitely gratifying. Judging nonetheless from the things I've been getting and the things that has been happening to my so-called life recently, I wouldn't be able to say that my being falls into that kind. I still have a few home works left undone, a laboratory gown left crammed with creases, a topic or two in physics still waiting to be comprehended by my little brain, and an unpaid locker. I still have to work on these kinds of predicaments before I label my own life "appealing" enough for everyone to read about.

My years of living used to lack vibrancy and spice (oh yes, that's the most appropriate term, so to speak) until an evil bunch of cantankerous, flesh-eating carnivores attempted to visit me inside my humble abode made of fresh foliages of leaves and dried up tree branches left alone in the jungle one murky night. Their leader, a feline-like creature unaware of me being nocturnal (which can sometimes get so amazing, once my eyes smolder in the dark in a reddish glow) ordered her subjects to end my miserable life. I wouldn't be here writing about this piece of dull article which exactly has no point whatsoever if it weren't for her loyal right-hand whom I've heard was actually addressed by the name Joyce. (The leader of the pack, the fireflies told me, was Chynna, a ruthless tiger ready to crush her victims in an instant anytime, anywhere) She beseeched their chief to cease the attempt to attack me lest I might retaliate against their assault and let the ruddy shine of my eyes penetrate through their bodies, ushering them to death. Much to my surprise, Chynna saw the potential I never thought I possessed at that time through my unprepossessing countenance (I was sporting a headband at that time, if you might want to know) and let me live with her pack, believing that somehow, someday, I might be of great use.

They thought me the ways of living with the fact that I would have to deal with the inconsiderate ambiance of St. Paul University, QC. Angge and Zcheyenne were superb gurus in hunting for female rodents to be arranged for dinner later on by Jocelyn, the only animal lucky enough to have studied culinary arts (and survived, thank God) in the immense world of human beings downtown. I would make them homes and coats on cold nights and would be asked to repair if some things were damaged most likely caused by the turmoil Jamille, the resident carpenter of the pack would often bring forth whenever she swings her hammer as large as a modern vendo machine. I came to enjoy the refuge this little home brought me day by day, and all the more when Price thought of bequeathing upon me a little of whatever she knows about arts and crafts one blistering morning. That very same day Rita initiated me to the art of having even at least a tiny bit of a fashion sense despite the fact that we lived in a suburban village cradled by all the fuddy-duddy things in life. Eji, Czaren, and Dana, on the other hand, inducted me to have this dream of being in a (what was that term again?) band once they have heard me one night grumbling out inhuman wails and have seen me pummeling rocks with an uncanny speed. With them I dreamt of forming a group in which I could develop all these "skills" altogether, and here I am now on the apex of my success: being in the renowned band of Oxygen.

I, in due time, began to take in and enjoy the perceptions these people carried into my world in which the values of everything I have supposed about my life were nothing more than a pile of bat dung. We eventually took a trip down into the real world where more of these contemporary things were more appreciated and maltreated less. I have been into this pack for more than a year now, and I must say - beneath the myriad smiles, rabid conversations, song-writing proficiencies and perceptions people might have, I must say that I've enjoyed every minute of being with this evil bunch of cantankerous, flesh-eating carnivores collectively known as Gx12 and I know that if I hadn't just said that, I'd totally regret it. Like totally.

IN CAVDA VENEVM GENESIS X IN AETERNUM AD EXTREMEMUM.

the generic generator @ 7:42 PM

***********************************************************************************

high.

masaya ako ngayon. Alam mo kung bakit? Hah. Make a wild guess. Hindi mo pa rin mahulaan? Guess again.

wala ka bang napapansing bago dito?

wala talaga? Sige na nga.

Wala naman talagang nagbago dito eh. Nagpapapansin lang ako nung mga panahong iyon. Haha. Ang tanga mo naman - nadala ka. Wala lang. Anyway, kung hindi mo pa din talaga mapansin kung ano ang medyo nag-change dito... ewan ko na sayo. Hindi mo pa din ba napapansin na nagtatagalog ako ngayon? Wala lang. Naisipan ko lang gumawa ng tagalog na "blogpost". Mukhang masaya eh. Tingnan mo ako ngayon: masaya.

ayan. Sinayang ko na yung oras mo kakabasa ng walang kwentang introduction na iyon. Kekwentuhan naman kita ng mga nangyari sa akin simula nung Thursday (naku... English ito ah. Kailangan ka namin ngayon, MT, for you are edgar allan poe's beloved "successor") haha.

Maganda na sana yung araw kahapon eh. Kahit papaano eh naenjoy ko yung pagkuha ng sangkatutak na "essence" na kusang-loob na ibinigay sa akin ng aking current "fire". Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako nung malaman kong may mararating na ako sa college dahil matinong grupo ang makakasama ko sa paggawa ng thesis sa susunod na taon at hindi yung grupong walang mararating dahil sa... basta. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil magaganda yung research proposals namin. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil dadating na ang tatay ko kinabukasan at makakapiling na naming siya muli (at magkakaroon na ako ng bagong pares ng chucks). Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil kahit papaano eh naenjoy ko naman yung pagkain ng crepe na niluto ni carlsten (gwapo! gwapo!) Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil napanood ko ulit yung MAGNIFICO kanina. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil ngayon ko lang nalaman na kahit papaano'y may ibubuga din pala ako sa pagvo-volleyball, at nakaabot hanggang sa letter "M" yung grupo ko sa PE kahapon. Kahit papaano eh masaya na sana ako dahil mapapasaya ko si tino ngayong Lunes, sapagkat ako ang naka-schedule na magpakain sa kanya nun. Pero hindi eh. Alam mo yun?

haay, buhay. Madami talagang tae sa mundo. Bakit kung kailan masaya na ang lahat, saka ka pa babangon mula sa taehan? Nakakaasar talaga. Gah. Wala lang. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko. Nawalan ako ng gana kumain kaninang lunch. Masuka-suka na ako sa tuwing nalalanghap ko yung hangin na nalalanghap mo rin. Bwisit talaga ang mundo. Wala lang. Samahan mo pa ng pagkadismaya ko dahil hindi ko mapapanood and concert ng GOOD CHARLOTTE ngayong gabi (actually, ang gusto ko lang naman talagang mapanood dun eh yung mayonnaise, who happens to be one of the opening acts for to-night) Nakakainis talaga ang buhay. Napaka-abismal. Mabuti pa yung iba dyan, pabanat-banat na lang. Eh ako? Ano? Wala. Madami akong gustong hindi ko nakukuha. Yung iba hindi talaga pwedeng makuha, kahit maglupasay sa sahig. Yung iba, nakuha mo na sana, kaya lang, wala. Nawala rin bigla. Yung iba masyado nang mataas para abutin. GAH! Galit talaga ako sa buhay ko ngayon. Bakit ba? Bakit pa? Ayoko na.

Wala lang.


FU. Bamboo.
Why do you hate him
Why did you make him leave
There's nothing wrong with him
Why do you hate him
You want him crucified
Is it the way he looks
Or the way he speaks his mind
Never hear this song playing on the radio
O There's nothing wrong with him
But it's you and your friends
Never hear this song playing on the radio
All you ever did was talk about her
She's done what she had to do
Having to raise two kids without a father
You just stood by idly watched her suffer
You think you're something special
Boy you blew it! This conversation's over…
Never hear this song playing on the radio
There's nothing wrong with her
But it's you and your friends
Fuck you and your friends
Never hear this song playing on the radio

the generic generator @ 8:06 PM

***********************************************************************************

two-trick pony
TEMPTATION (n) the act of giving in to a desire especially when misguided; something that persuades one to perform an action for pleasure or gain (money, power, etc.) overwhelming temptations can cause a person to commit crimes.

it was also, most likely, temptation that ensnared five mere mortals to employ themselves into special activities that hazy Wednesday afternoon: three of the SUPERFRIENDS (tino, dana oreo and yours truly), and TWO FRESHMEN STUDENTS (one in yellow and black, the other in pink) who couldn't seem to get enough of each other.

Everything instigated on that fateful lunch period on the 29th of June. While the three of us (of whose forenames had just been asserted above) were feasting on a measly amount of strawberry-filled "Tini-Wini's," we all agreed to pass by the washroom on the second floor so as to grant command on tino's fancy of cleansing her face with her "incredible" facial wash. As lively as we persistently are, we ambled briskly, giving off jolly chortles as we shared both decent and malevolent gags. (*snorts*) Whilst we were verging ourselves on the assurance that nothing could possibly go off beam at that time, the precise moment that tino handed me her box of "Tini-Wini" (again, with strawberry filling) and flung the comfort room door ajar proved our supposition wrong.

Our ears and minds had not failed to elucidate what the resonance we just perceived right at the moment meant. There, obscured by a sabotaged cubicle door with graffiti such as "ang cute ni ____!" and "p...tng...na mo, ___!" were moans of pleasure and anticipation shared by two people in the same compartment.

P...tng...na. Nag e-fk (French kissing) yata itong dalawang ito eh. Or worse..."

it was at that precise instant that a voice echoed in our psyches to bring forth a message.

"Open the door you must... Open the door you must!"

that very same voice reverberated within our minds for quite some time. We panicked and didn't know what to think about the tight spot we're in. We opted to just hang around outside the comfort room and see what comes out of our presumptions. While discussing the things and... er... stuffs we could've brought at that time to capture that "perfect moment," (we even wished that we brought a camera or tape recorder to trace the whole thing up as verification) the door unbolted.

Lo and behold! A freshman student in pink, flattening the creases on her top, went out of the cubicle, motioning herself frontward to scan the outer surface of their sham paradise for passers by who could've heard their whimpers of immoral bliss. (we were, of course, acting as if we never heard anything of their "hidden agenda" by putting on edgy beams and feigned grins) minutes later, she began beckoning a relatively squat Korean freshman in yellow and black ("Parang pambubuyog yung damit nya!" -Dana) who seemed to be her partner in their "love-making."

Glass. Incubus.
If I had a dime for every time you walked away,
I could afford to not give a shit
and buy a drink and drown the day
But your pockets, they are empty,
yeah, and mine are times two
So why not make an about-face,
and accept the love I send to you?
You're never gonna be content if you don't try,
try to see outside your line.
There you go, you did it again!
You act as if there's blinders on your eyes.
Should I apologize if what I say burns your ears and stains
your eyes?
Oh, did I crack your shell?
When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well!
Like a bottle with the cork stuck,
your true ingredients trapped inside.
Through the cloudy glass we catch a glimpse of you,
I guess the hard shell represents your pride.
Oh, if only it could be different
we could uncover the you you deny.
Between two, a small discrepancy,
one complicates and one simplifies.
TAKE THOSE FUCKING BLINDERS OFF YOUR EYES.
So if I had a dime for every time you walked away,
you could bet your bottom dollar that
I'd be filthy rich by noon today

the generic generator @ 5:34 PM

***********************************************************************************