what an ungrateful damned swine I must have been, and it's all thanks to me and my stupid oral cave.

even uncertainties can slash a pride, and might even send someone to constantly fold.

manggugupit na lalaki = barbero
ang mga barbero ay mahilig mamigay ng lollipop tuwing pagkatapos gupitan ang isang bata.

marami kayang may gusto sa mga barbero?

the generic generator @ 7:15 PM

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Internet at home's all screwed up and this time, there's absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I think it's supposedly a blessing in disguise (though it enraged me so much) since I reckon that through this mishap, I will get to devote most of my time in the academic aspects of living.

But seriously, I highly doubt it. :))

And oh, there's just one thing about last Tuesday that I absolutely loved, aside from the fact that we got out of UP fresh and as quickly as we never imagined the events would all turn out to be.




THE LAKE HOUSE ROCKS.




I've been finding the lower batches impossible these days, and I don't even get why the hell should they be stomping around with their stupid ear-to-ear grins and tawang pang-skwater, acting as if they actually own the damn place. Whatever their grounds might be which propel them to act as such, FOR CHRISSAKES, GROW UP! Quit acting like you just busted out of some preschool hangover or something. It's so annoying, damn it. Kung gusto ninyong magwala at maghari-harian sa kung saan mang lugar, then by the gods, go SOMEWHERE ELSE.

I have every right to say this because we are NOW the SENIORS of the batch. At hindi pala ako third year, tanga.

Special mention to that certain Dannica Domingo and herr "Rebel High" bullcrap. I don't give a damn whether you have already payed your dues and have already begged forgiveness off my friend, the SGB president Ericka Salonga. I find you really annoying, which, by the way, sucks.






bleep... bleep... bleep.










Characterization complete.

the generic generator @ 4:18 PM

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the prim and proper pressure cooker

I just took a quick shower before letting my fingers type the afternoon away.

However, I am done, feeling fresh, sweat-free and damn spanking new as ever. :D


- - - - - - -


The best thing about the previous week was that I was kept pretty occupied all throughout. I wasn't left alone to speculate whatever in the world was I supposed to do next after killing a particular work off. Medyo hectic ang lahat, but based on that week's tempo, I must say that it's not so bad after all. Almost everything seemed to all fall well into place, seemed so stirring that I couldn't even put my finger on it, and seemed so flawlessly right.

I'm not forgetting the piece about being ALMOST, though. : damn the Assyrians for teaching the world callous means of retaliation with their metal plates and all!

Everything seemed to be a-ok in my part. In. My. Fucking. Part. It surely doesn't feel right knowing that on the other side of the fence, somebody is pained with her expectations bit by bit crashing down while mine is yet to unfold not really that spotlessly well, but well enough. I know that grieving about this can never provide a fixed and perfect resolve to this matter, but still, I couldn't help but be emotional about it. The effects of this don't only inhabit in and nibble a certain part of a relationship. It has been affecting RELATIONSHIPS lately.

I want to help. We all want to. But we need your aid the most, for the love of god. Kahit saang anggulo mo kasi tingnan, ikaw at ikaw lang ang makakaayos ng problemang ito. -_-


- - - - - - -


Next week, everything in school will officially commence. Kumbaga, appetizer pa lang yung pagpasok namin simula last Monday. Even the start of our duties as disciplinary officers was just some sort of a "patikim". (HAHAHAHA! patikim my ass! Ang tanga ko talaga gumawa ng analogies) next week's the finest and assigned time to follow that certain direction we must tread throughout this year we must boldly face. Now we all know that it'll be a rough trip getting through... but would giving a damn about it make things simpler?

Oh. By this time, I am proud to say that I have finally thought of a profound objective in struggling for that something I am determined to complete for this year. Sa wakas, magkakaroon na rin ng direksyon ang lahat ng mga gagawin ko, and it is all thanks to the one and only Sir Psycho Sexy. I must intensify my efforts to twofold!!


- - - - - - -


Junior newcomer: "Hindi na ako makapaghintay na magcheerleader para matalo na natin ang SENIORS!" *snooty beam*
I tag: "Hintayin mong mahagilap kita sa Lunes, hayop ka."


- - - - - - -


There's just this thing about this school year's newcomers and a handful of freshmen students feeling so superior, cool and whatever else you might want to associate with that same kind of crap. They scamper around, laugh real hard, pig out and take certain steps as if they actually own the whole place. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Huwag naman sana matigas ang mukha. Baka lagariin ko ang mga braso ninyo ng di oras.

At kapag ako nga pala ay nabastos ng kahit sino sa Lunes, (with the exception of the SENIORS... they're old enough to know what'll be best for them :p) mapipilitan akong... magmatigas. Kahit sino naman kasing isalpak mo sa lintek na posisyong yun eh mababanas. Haha.

Cool ka lang, hanibam. Is-mayl! :)

- - - - - - -


HAHAHA. That was creepy.

At bakit ako naging sabaw bigla? Katamaran? Writer's block? Unforeseen dementia?

BLEEP.

The correct (and most anticipated) answer is GUTOM.

I am hungry, damn it. I want real food! @_@

Raidakeeda says: "I don't need girls to complete me."
Paraphrased: "I don't need BOYS to complete me."

the generic generator @ 5:18 PM

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does it make you indie?
does it make you proud?
to talk the world into a paper bag
spotty stain of "i'm okay, you're not okay"
yes, men too could be on the rag

i'm over my head, i need a pick-me-up
it's easy to get high when you're standing on our backs, man
will anything ever be good enough for you?
stand on your own, hold your water if you can

the ride's over, did you enjoy yourself?
the ride's over, fairing well?
(not on my time)

it isn't fair to mention, but it awes the crowd
your fictional, plastic alibi
so take another hit, steal another line
did you ever meet a leech who was good at goodbyes?

when you were down i always picked you up
why didn't i recognize that everything was never fine?
i'm kicking myself that i shared spit with you
so fuck yourself and fuck this bleeding heart of mine

the ride's over







forget the previous angsty post. it's a damn beautiful world out there, sugarplum honeybum!

at gods, dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa mga kaibigan ko, nagglobe na ako. enough reason to make great things possible (pucha corny, tapos parang wala pang sense. haha) whooopee :)

the generic generator @ 8:15 PM

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galit (yata) ako.

Activate initiation in

5...

4...

3...

2...

1.






Activation completed.
I must now proceed to why I came here for.






Look here, man. If you think that letting me into that almost all-is-well reality of yours with everything seemingly good enough in it would be an automatic insult to my so-called frail fortitude, then you are definitely in the position to know this apparently mislaid detail. With all the sincerity that I could ever spit out of my system... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT.

Don't get this whole ranting thing wrong. I am not mad at you for preferring to go for that... deep sea creature I once used to fancy and (as shamefully as it may seem) wished to snag as an - on the face of it - unattainable stag. Point being... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I chose this motherfucking friendship over that tiny heap of fascination towards that THING. Why the hell can't you?

I am not saying that you have totally bartered all the love and friendship in the world just to have him constantly by your side and to have him dig up his strong points from you whenever he gets to see some fucking flicks of sheer terror. No. The thing is, you choose to rant about him more often when, in fact, there are a lot more things and matters of GREATER importance to discuss. Nakuha mo pang unahin yang pangit na yan kesa sa mga... nevermind.

I am most extensively annoyed at this feeling-mo-masasaktan-ako-kapag-sinabi-mo-sa-aking-may-nagaganap-na-palang-kakatuwang-mga-bagay-sa-inyong-dalawa crap. Damn that son of a... Why can't you even trust me well enough? Know that I HAVE trusted YOU if you must, and that I could've been there to listen and to understand. Unti-untiin mo lang sana, hindi pa kasi totally nawawala ang lahat, if I must admit. Magiging awkward ang lahat. HAHAHA.

Sigh.

So. In a nutshell... Just do me a favor and do this friendship justice.

... and I'm sorry for having chosen a few unpleasant terms to express my irritation towards this something I wish I could restore back to full health with my spit. (haha, nabigla din ako nung nire-read ko ang lahat-lahat) it's just that this situation's getting old at tancha ko, ni hindi mo pa nga alam na alam ko na ang mga nangyayari.

Mahal pa rin naman kita eh. :D prens poreber!

Even a fish can stay out of trouble if it keeps its fucking mouth closed.

Haha. Ewan ko. Maybe, as long as you find happiness... all will turn out well. :)






And mother of mercy! He's all yours. I don't think he'll ever be good enough. FOR ME, at the very least. :D






Screw Paris Hilton for having died in that grotesque manner in house of wax. Lintek yan, kausap ko si ding kagabi from 9:00 pm to 1:00 am and that gory image kept on jamming all the good things that I could possibly lay my eyes on in multiples. Wala lang.

Hindi ko pa nakita yung Jupiter kagabi. Haha. Malay ko ba kung andun talaga yun.

-_-

Sige na. Kakain na lang ako ng mamon.

the generic generator @ 10:03 AM

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"Kung gaano kabilis dumating sa buhay mo ang isang nilalang na nagbigay sa'yo ng ligaya, ganu'n din siya kabilis lilisan. At sa araw na ito, madarama mong malayung-malayo na ang loob niya..."

well... I couldn't agree more.

So much for some horoscope bullshit. :D

What more can I possibly say? It was nice knowing you, man.

the generic generator @ 1:37 PM

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the generic generator @ 5:13 PM

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After going through my previous blog entries, bigla na lang na-trigger yung urge ko na magsulat ulit. My writing's been crappy over the past few months (which I spent on fruitless yet highly entertaining means) and just this afternoon, I felt like I really have to do something about it. After all, what else is a PAULEEN columnist left to do with only but a few motherfucking days left before the start of classes? And please, do check out the opening date. It's a hyper blasted 06-06-06, baby :))

Well... at least the day itself seemingly shows a bit of a promise.

Ayoko sanang pumasok kasi sa araw rin na yan mismo ipapalabas yung movie na "The Omen." We had the chance to view its trailer while waiting for the initiation of the much awaited X-Men 3 movie last Monday and upon my word... I was literally kept at the edge of my seat. The sounds, the effects, the pounding of the heart of whoever might've owned it and the emotions it pressed out of the profundity of my being... Lintek. Iba talaga eh. Mukhang maganda. Haha :))

And oh, this Tuesday, I am tasked to take a hold of the section Anne de Tilly's plaque card, together with Thea. Good heavens. Ayoko sanang may kasama sa pagbabantay (to be able to prove my underlying worth, if you know what I mean) but I think Eka and the rest of the SGB officers are just taking it easy on me, being a new member and all. And it didn't take me overnight to figure out on how right they are, mind you. Wala pa akong gaanong leadership skills while Kay and Gel obviously have full potentials. Haha. And the rest younger than me, you ask? Blablabla.

Ito lang ang masasabi ko: Please. Dun ka na lang sa stage magdadada. Shoot some flamingos, twinkle toes. :))

*checks out a Y!M window only to find out that only 20 people are online, about 9 of which are logged in on the SMS service*

I have seriously been waiting for someone to log in since last Thursday, but my strenuous waiting still proves to be futile as of the moment. Holy mother of Jeebas. Kailan pa nalaos ang internet sa ibang bansa?

Knowing that I ONLY will be able to reach to him by this apparently quite futile mean turns my inner consciousness inside out. It consumes me whole from within. Waiting drags me to nowhere ahead, but waiting's got to be the only thing I am capable of doing at present. Alangan namang tawagan ko dun. Haha :))

DAMN IT. Naalala ko lang bigla. Hiningi na nga yung landline ko noon, hindi ko pa binigay. I. AM. SUCH. AN. IDIOT.

... in the MEANTIME...

Let's just sleep.

I miss my friends, along with the places I recently have been. I hope they do, too. It would definitely keep me going. :)

the generic generator @ 2:56 PM

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