MA-HA-BA, part 1.
I mean it. And this time, it's totally nonsensical.
Consider yourselves properly warned.
F.U.
I didn't actually fancy being there, but I was left with no other preferences to choose from. I had to serve that certain kind of obligation; opting otherwise would mean that I wouldn't be indebted to enjoy paradise together with a choir of angels in there as soon as death comes to fetch me any moment anymore.
There was nothing else that I could have possibly done back then other than to blink my eyes out of sheer disbelief.
"A reading from the Holy Gospel according to..."
And then it hit me.
I was inside a Mass, for crying out loud - a consecrated gala that I've been evading from for the past few hours. And now how the hell was I to entail the true Catholic nature of paying special attention to it when I know for a fact that I feel like doing the other way around?
Ennui indeed consumed me the entire ceremony and it definitely showed. I've only known a handful of masses which I really paid a lot of attention to, and that one was positively not amongst them.
Then came the homily part. Everybody was requested to take their respective seats and to listen. But I think what they're trying to do is just to let the people suffer the heavy trouble of trying to bear with the tedious elaborations of the priest about a certain biblical matter. For me, at times, homilies resonate through my head more like a lot of hoopla other than something which are intended to be applied on a regular basis. Pumapasok sa isang tenga, tapos lumalabas agad sa kabila.
Unexpectedly, (since it was, apparently, a mass) it seemed to fly quicker than a ray of light: a ring back tune to the tone of something classical resounded in a shrilly high volume through a sleek green tote bag from behind, which created a minor stir-up.
"Oh, bakit ngayon ka lang? Oo... Oo... Nasaan? Oo, papunta na yata sila doon... Galing na akong St. Luke’s kanina, baka bumalik pa ako dun... HAHAHA!"
A seemingly rich old woman in green kept on discussing stuff with God knows who on the other line as if she was in another place with nothing around her but the sunshine, some rocks, grass, flowers of different sorts and some shit. But what made her really irksome was the fact that she unabashedly kept on chatting with different people on the phone (it was quite apparent since topics changed every now and then) almost the entire time span of the homily until before the kneeling part, not even minding to keep it low nor to go outside in case she couldn't just possibly leave things unattended.
"Oo, nabili ko na rin yun... Sinabi na nga ni *insert name here* na kukunin na niya yung paycheck... Yes, yes..."
(Uy, tangina, hindi yan yung mga eksaktong dialogues hah. Yan lang yung mga pagkakarinig ko. Hehe...)
I wanted to stuff some shit inside her garb and hit her real hard, but I just couldn't. I mean yes, I was bored and all, but I couldn't act just like that in the middle of the crowd, INSIDE A MASS. Things might get nasty and most importantly, I'd be ruining the sacred spirit of it all. In short, nakakagago at nakakabastos yun.
Her sharp cackles still echo in my head as they were one inevitable phantom.
Right then and there, there was nothing else I could have possibly done other than to swear... and swear... and swear.
Then came the Communion part. After I partook with the so-called sacred meal with Christ, I sat down, pelted God with my requests (a few of which are, honestly, selfish) chained with a pregnant pause, then turned to my left to whisper something to my mother in a fashionably low way.
"Quiet, hindi pa tapos ang Mass."
It was the old woman.
Aggravated, I went on thinking "Putangina, ikaw nga diyan kung ano-anong mga bobong pinaggagawa mo, eh sa mahinang bulong lang... Taena..."
(The thing is, nabobohan ako sa ginawa niya. Siya nga diyan, mas bastos tapos ewan. Nakakabanas talaga. If you were in my shoes, you'd feel the same. Ang kapal kasi eh. Siya nga yung mas nakakahiya, tapos mamamahiya siya. Ay... ewan ko sa kanya... Sige na, mababaw na kung mababaw... Eh putangina, totoo namang nakakairita un eh...)
I knew that old woman (whom I wanted to cripple that time since some people turned their heads to nose round or whatever when she reproached me) had something against me, and so did I. I don't know. I hate her. I really do. I wanted to flay her alive, like Kitchie Nadal. I wanted to smack her right on the face. I wanted to latch her underwear on her head and keep it that way forever. I wanted to throw at her piles of horse dung. I honestly WANTED to. But I couldn't, and we all know it.
Di bale. May araw din naman yung taong yun eh. Wala lang.
